The concept of being “friends with benefits” is a beautiful illusion in theory, but in reality, it often becomes an excuse for irresponsible behavior. At the end of the day, most people agree that a real relationship, with commitment and feelings, is much more valuable than something casual.
There are times when both parties agree that this is just a physical relationship. But let's be real: more often than not, one party, usually the girl, accepts this as a temporary arrangement in the hope that it will turn into something more serious. If you're in doubt about whether he sees you as a potential partner or just a friend with benefits, look more at his actions than his words.
Here are some clear signs that he doesn't plan on moving on to something more serious:
1. He disappears on important days
On Valentine's Day, your birthday or Christmas, he is somewhere else - but not with you.
If he sees you as his partner, he will do something to show it. If he has no problem neglecting you at these moments, it means that he does not see you as important in his life.
2. He doesn't text you to ask how you are.
He doesn't get "Good morning" or "Good night" messages or ask how your day is going. If you get sick, he won't show up to take care of you, and he probably won't ask you later if you're feeling better - unless he sees it as an opportunity for another date.
3. You only meet to have sex.
If he sees you as a serious option, he'll want to introduce you to his friends, spend time with you outside of the bedroom, and include you in his life. If everything you do together is physical and there's no effort to get to know each other better, then to him, you're just a friend with benefits.
4. You don't spend time together during the day.
If there's no way to lead to something physical, he doesn't see the point in spending time with you. Meetings happen mostly at night, and in the morning, he either leaves immediately or makes it clear that you need to leave. If you're not welcome in his space for more than a few hours, you have your answer.
5. There is no exclusivity agreement
If you've never talked about being exclusive, don't assume you are. Even if he says he's not with anyone else, do his words match his actions? If you feel like he's hiding or avoiding your questions on the subject, you're probably not alone.
6. He openly says he's not ready for a relationship.
If he's told you he doesn't want a serious relationship, believe him. This is the moment when words carry more weight than actions. If he's said he's not at a stage in his life for a committed relationship, don't help him make excuses and don't think he'll change.
7. He shows minimal effort
If he's only showing minimal effort, it means he only sees you as a friend with benefits. This could show up as you taking the initiative to meet up or him only calling you after a night out with friends.
Sources: Verywell Mind
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