Long-term relationships aren't perfect, but happy couples have some common habits that help them cope with moments of tension. Here's what they do differently:
1. Reflect: “Does this have anything to do with my past?”
Many conflicts are not just about our partner, but about the wounds we carry from childhood. When you are aware of this, you have more control over your reactions.
2. They take off their "love glasses" and see reality.
They create a list: expectations vs. reality of the relationship. It helps them balance idealism with what is actually there.
3. Visualize the best version of themselves and their relationship
They imagine how they would behave in a healthy relationship and then work to behave that way in reality.
4. They rely on the right friends
They don't put everything on their partner's shoulders. Talking to friends who are in a similar phase helps them to unload emotionally.
5. They learn new things, alone or together
Being open to new experiences refreshes the dynamics of your relationship. Learn a new skill, take a class, try something different together.
6. They name their worst habits.
If you don't admit that you have harmful behavior, you can't change it. These people take responsibility for their part in the conflict.
7. They become aware when they are repeating bad habits.
Once they've identified them, they begin to notice when bad habits are being activated - and try to intervene as early as they can.
8. They focus on what they can control.
They don't just blame the other person. They take responsibility for their behavior and choose a gentler way to communicate.
9. Remind yourself to be present.
Many conflicts happen on "autopilot." Happy partners practice mindfulness to catch themselves before they react.
10. They observe their partner's body language
Words can lie, but the body can't. A phrase like "I don't care" with tears in your eyes says more than a dry statement.
11. Use reflective listening
To avoid misunderstandings, they rephrase what they heard: “It sounds to me like you're saying this… did I understand correctly?” This helps clarify the intent before they react.
The moral? Healthy relationships aren't without problems, but they are full of small, everyday efforts. And couples who choose to understand each other more than win the argument... are the ones that last the longest.
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Source: Your Tango
