10 expressions used by people with poor social skills: Are you one of them?

Because social skills can be subjective, people with poor social skills use specific phrases without realizing it. People can improve their social skills with practice and by paying attention to other people's reactions to what they say.

Here are 10 phrases that people with poor social skills use without realizing that they are harming their communication with the person in front of them:

1. 'I'm just being honest'

People with poor social skills say this phrase to justify their communication style, which tends to be blunt and direct in a way that often comes across as rude. Being honest is generally considered a positive trait, but being honest just for the sake of honesty, without considering the emotional consequences, can hurt others.

2. 'Can't you understand a joke?'

They usually ask this question as a defense mechanism after saying something hurtful. While dark humor is valuable in helping people navigate difficult emotions, there is a distinct difference between using humor to cope with a situation and being cruel.

3. 'You look tired'

Saying, "You look tired," is more of an insult than an expression of care or concern. This phrase emphasizes a lack of social competence, which may explain why someone might use it without considering its impact.

4. 'You don't understand'

Using the phrase "You don't understand" shuts people out. It is often an indicator of low emotional intelligence, along with poor social skills. People with low emotional intelligence often blame other people for their feelings and are overly critical.

5. 'Not to play devil's advocate, but...'

People with poor social skills say they are "playing devil's advocate" when making an opposing point. The phrase is often an excuse to be argumentative or harshly critical with no other purpose than to be critical. Relying on this phrase repeatedly can be a sign that someone was raised without good manners or that they lack empathy and compassion for people who might be hurt by what they say.

6. 'Why do you care so much?'

People with poor social skills use the phrase "Why do you care so much?" without realizing how dismissive it is of other people's feelings and values.

Empathy is a skill that can be learned. Becoming more empathetic starts with recognizing other people's emotions and accepting them as valid. Even if a person with poor social skills doesn't understand why someone "cares so much," they can accept their emotional reality, which can help close the gap in understanding between them.

7. 'Did I tell you?!'

This expression makes them feel smug or superior. No one likes to make mistakes. Making mistakes can feel uncomfortable and embarrassing, so saying "I told you so" is not a productive or polite response.

8. 'I wouldn't do this if I were you'

Saying, "I wouldn't do that if I were you" is a derogatory phrase that doesn't help people. It's a judgmental statement, not an offer of support or guidance. People with poor social skills often don't realize that what they say makes others feel judged or ignored. Asking someone if they want advice is a better approach than simply stating, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

9. 'Everyone knows this'

Using the phrase "Everyone knows this" is a disrespectful and harsh way to embarrass someone and is a sign of poor social skills.

10. 'This is how I am'

This sounds rude and selfish. The phrase functions as a way for someone to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior, especially when they have caused harm or hurt others.

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Source: Your Tango