Whether or not you talk to your parents, have built strong emotional boundaries to protect yourself from siblings, growing up in a toxic family will leave marks on your personality and development over time.
A wave of negative side effects can follow you throughout your life, even after you've moved away from your family or cut off communication with them.
Experts point to many ways growing up in a toxic family can affect you later.
#1 You may have anxiety
Children of toxic families are prone to anxiety. A 2024 study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that having a toxic parent often leads to the development of anxiety and depression in adulthood.
#2 Repeat toxic patterns in life
Life can be much easier when you grow up with positive role models and healthy examples, but when you don't, then you can face trials. Think of strained relationships, job loss, financial problems, etc. Uncertainties will make it more difficult for you to find solutions.
#3 You don't know who you are
Growing up in a toxic family can destroy your sense of self. As you get older, you may not know what kind of work appeals to you, whether you want to get married, what to do in your free time, etc. This creates a feeling of emptiness within you as if you don't really know yourself.
#4 You have trouble interacting with others
As a child of a toxic family, you may struggle to let others get close to you, even when you really want to form deeper relationships. The goal is to avoid feelings of fear and vulnerability.
#5 You fall in love with toxic people
Children of toxic families often grow up to repeat the same cycle. You may be attracted to dysfunctional partners, or friends who do not have your best interests at heart. While you may recognize their negative traits, you may feel powerless to change them and choose to side with them.
#6 You have a hard time believing reality
Children raised by toxic parents find that their experience of reality and their parents' experience is different, so because you've been through the trials and the arguments, you have a hard time trusting reality.
#7 You fear abandonment
These people live with the feeling of fear of abandonment all the time, because they grew up with such a spirit in their family as well. Feelings of real or imagined abandonment are caused by living in an unstable or unreliable family dynamic.
#8 You feel like you've failed
Toxic families can create feelings of low self-esteem. Although no family environment is perfect, those who grow up in a family where toxic behaviors are the norm tend to suffer tremendously from low self-esteem, feeling like failures.
#9 You can't regulate your emotions
If you grew up around chaos and drama, you probably developed coping mechanisms because you saw scenes of violence, raising your voice, etc. People who grow up in such an environment tend to experience emotional disorders over the years, because they do not have developed conflict resolution and management mechanisms.
#10 Become more resilient
If you have had to take care of parents or siblings, then you may be more resilient or aware of how to overcome diversity. If you've witnessed toxic situations, then you may have extra empathy for others, or a stronger desire to keep your life as peaceful as possible.
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