It's not just a stereotype: many men (many!) have grown up with the idea that therapy is "for people who are not well." This is not only wrong, but also dangerous for any relationship that is facing challenges. If you know something is wrong and he refuses to open up about it to improve it, then you need to do something different.

Clinical psychologist Jonice Webb lists several ways you can convince your partner to sit down with a therapist – not as a “guilty party,” but as part of a team that is trying to win.

1. Reassure him that therapy isn't a scary hell

Many men see therapy as a box that when you open it, all the chaos in the world comes out. Some think that “if you don't talk about the problems, they don't exist.” Reassure them that therapy is not about fighting, but about understanding each other as partners, not enemies.

2. Help him deal with his feelings (yours and his)

Men have feelings. Lots of them. But they've been raised with the idea that they shouldn't talk about them. They think feelings are strange, inappropriate, even dangerous. Tell him that you can handle his feelings and that the therapist is there to make this process easier.

3. Find out what's stopping you

Maybe he doesn't see the problem you're experiencing every day. Maybe he comes from a family that didn't talk about emotions and doesn't understand their importance. Instead of insisting without results, understand what's holding him back and then work with him to break down that barrier.

4. Present your concerns, not “his mistakes”

Don't list your problems as if you were in court. Speak carefully and without accusatory language. Use words like: "I feel that...", not "You always..." or "You never...". The goal is to show that you want to improve the relationship for both of you, not to blame him.

5. Take your responsibilities.

When you admit your mistakes or unintentional behaviors, he will see that therapy is not a “courtroom for men,” but a space for both of you. Set an example with yourself – this is more convincing than any ultimatum.

6. Ask him about his doubts and listen carefully.

When he tells you why he won't go, don't interrupt. You don't have to agree with him, just show that you're really listening.

7. Provide security with a “personal guarantee”

Examples:

“I promise I won't embarrass you in front of the therapist.”
“If you feel bad during the session, tell me and we'll stop.”
“Just try 3 times. If it doesn't work, we'll talk again.”

8. Give a gentle ultimatum (if necessary)

If after all your efforts there is no change, tell him carefully:

"If we really want this relationship to work, we need therapy."

9. And if it still doesn't work...

Yes, it happens. And at this point you need to think about yourself. You have the right to seek a healthy relationship and grow emotionally with your partner. If he's not ready to face himself, maybe you should face the truth.

At the end of the day, therapy is an act of love, not a punishment.
If he loves you, he will listen to you. If not – then it's time to listen to yourself.

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_{Source: Your Tango}