If your 4-year-old daughter has ever insisted on wearing lipstick or insisted on taking your brush, don't worry – it's not a sign of alarm. According to psychologists, it's completely normal, and often even beneficial for her development.

Kathryn Keough, a psychologist at the nonprofit Child Mind Institute, says she is often asked by concerned parents if it is a “problem” that their daughter is obsessed with wearing her mother’s makeup. According to the psychologist, this behavior is a very common part of identity and emotional development in children.

Why it's okay if kids want to play with make-up

The pleasure that children find in glittery clothes, princesses, lipstick or toys that imitate makeup products should not be seen as a “threat”. It is simply a way to explore themselves. As early as 6 months of age, children begin to become aware of their appearance. By 18 months of age, they are already able to recognize themselves in the mirror and begin to imitate adults through play.

A little girl who paints her lips or asks her mother for perfume is simply engaging in a process of imagination and self-formation.

Make-up as a game, not as a beauty standard

Psychologist Tara Well of Barnard College emphasizes that play with products related to appearance – is an important part of identity development. Pretending to get dressed, or even using harmless products under supervision, helps children build motor coordination, follow logical order (open the lid, paint, close) and develop creativity.

If we strictly ban these games, we risk giving girls the message that their interest in “girly things” is worthless, even harmful. Meanwhile, no one makes a fuss when boys play with cars, shaving foam, or construction tools.

What about the risk of chemicals?

Of course, not every makeup product is suitable for children's sensitive skin. Some popular products on TikTok contain ingredients like retinol that can be dangerous for young skin. A study from Columbia University (2023) warned of harmful chemicals in personal care products used by children.

But, as experts point out, it's one thing to be careful with the ingredients of products, and another to ban any kind of play related to makeup. Overreacting can discourage children's natural exploration of the world and themselves.

Girls don't wear lipstick to please boys.

The idea that girls want to wear makeup from a young age to stand out or be liked by boys is simply a myth. Women wear lipstick to express style, to gain confidence, for cultural reasons – and we can see this even in public figures like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who has openly said that lipstick makes her feel more powerful.

The real message for parents?

Instead of forbidding children from playing with make-up, help them understand that appearance is only part of who they are. Give them the opportunity to explore, imitate, create – even with a lipstick toy.

Ultimately, developing a sense of control over their bodies and appearance is essential to their emotional well-being. And if today it's lipstick, tomorrow it could be the decision to become a scientist, an artist, or a politician.

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_{Source: The Atlantic}