In the 9th episode of "The Dalina Show" on Andale Media, Dalina Buzi brought up one of the most sensitive and important topics for Albanian society: "The other family", or more precisely, the one that comes along with the partner in a relationship.
In the episode's opening, Dalina emphasized an element that has often been considered a formality: the family meeting . Traditionally, in Albania, this was the ultimate proof that a relationship was "serious." But, as Dalina said, "what happens after this meeting has always mattered less" – when in fact it is what carries the most weight.
At this stage, where the relationship is "officialized," the person realizes that their partner is not an independent entity. They come with all the baggage of a life built by two parents , raised and educated in a completely different way than what we may have experienced ourselves. Cultural differences and emotional distance often only appear when things get more serious, Dalina pointed out.
She also brought up concrete examples of the impact of family on relationships : unresolved relationships of partners with their mothers, addictions that are passed down from generation to generation, victimization of parents, and toxic behaviors that masquerade as love. All of this takes on a different meaning when you become a parent yourself and start worrying that your child will inherit the "emotional genes" of a culture that conflicts with the values ??you yourself would like to build for your child.
"The clash between families becomes part of our identity," said Dalina, emphasizing that the deeper this clash, the more wounds we carry with us. These are challenges that love cannot always solve. This is why Dalina reiterated once again that "Marriage is fate."
But it's not always the family's fault. There are people who, despite trauma, grow and overcome the past, becoming better than their predecessors. However, as Dalina said, "unfortunately, there are not that many heroes."
In a society where analyzing the mother figure is still seen as taboo , Dalina emphasizes a truth that many dare not say: the mother is not always a victim, but often also the source of trauma.
"In a reality where it is a national threat to analyze the family, where the figure of the mother remains 'immaculate', even when she is the source of irreparable damage, it is difficult to create a mentality independent of what you have learned," she said.
And for all those who think that love is enough, Dalina brought the statistics: divorce has increased by 50%, and neither love relationships nor matchmaking have a guarantee of success. She advises that before taking the legal step, we should wait until the "curtain of passion" fades and we see clearly not only our partner, but also the family that will become "co-shareholders" in the lives of our children.
And if we can't make the right choice? Dalina advises having an "exit plan" – an independent life that awaits us if things don't work out.
"There is one God, and he is only up there – he does not and cannot have the face of any tribe," she concluded.
Full episode:
