Dating

Why "paperclipping" is the toxic dating trend: How to avoid it

Shkruar nga Anabel

15 Maj 2024

Why "paperclipping" is the toxic dating trend: How to avoid it
PHOTO: GETTY

We don't know if you've heard of this new trend of virtual dating and dating, but paperclipping has a fun origin. According to psychologist Bruce Y. Lee in a Psychology Today article, the term is named after Clippy, the digital assistant in Microsoft programs that appeared in the early 2000s.

What exactly is a "paper clip"?

The term is related to the behavior of the animated character Clippy, who would pop up from time to time to ask questions that distracted people from what they were doing, and instead of acting as a digital assistant, he created a sense of annoyance rather than help.

Why "paperclipping" is the toxic dating trend: How to avoid it

Similarly, paperclipping as a dating phenomenon occurs when a potential love interest occasionally pops up on one or more of your platforms to ask some frivolous questions. Questions can be a "Hello, how are you?" or "How are you?" with direct messages on these platforms. Either way, the conversation has very little chance of going to serious terms.

According to Lee, the question is asked and gives the impression that the person wants to talk to you or has something to say, but an answer never comes. This can be a ploy to stay in touch, but leave the relationship always in the open and without any real interest.

What can you do to avoid it?

Lee says that while not all short messages or unanswered messages are a case of toxic behavior, when the messages are frequent and the conversation never moves forward, that's when you back off.

He also recommends asking yourself these questions about your communication with the person: Does he/she lead to something else, such as a phone call, video or in-person chat? How much is the other person really investing in communicating with you?

If you want to avoid this toxic phenomenon, simply ignore the messages and do not reply. This is a good signal for the other party to stop engaging with you.

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Source: Glamour