After three weeks without speaking, he sends a message that starts as if nothing had happened or with a dubious apology.
Amy North, an online dating trainer, tells Elite Daily that people usually "disappear and come back" because they are afraid to have a real conversation about their feelings and this type of person is not someone they are good with. to be anyway ”.
Patti Sabla, a clinically licensed social worker, adds:
"We teach people how to treat us. In other words, welcoming someone who 'ignored you' gives them a great opportunity to do it again."
It is important to set boundaries and have clear ideas about people coming and going again. Below is a 3-step guide on how to respond when someone who has been missing for a long time suddenly returns:
# 1 - Find out what you want
Of course, it is up to you to decide what kind of behavior you will accept. You can even forgive someone and see continuity because there is no universal rule for everyone.
So first: Decide what you want. If you want to give this person another chance, nothing stops you. On the other hand, do you think the reasons behind that action and how likely it is to happen again? Would you tolerate other times ?!
# 2 - Set boundaries
No matter what stage of the relationship (or pre-relationship) you are in, you will have certain expectations from your partner and these expectations need to be communicated early. If they do not meet those expectations, there is no problem. You already know both and can go on with your lives.
If the action of missing for weeks is intolerable to you, you should communicate this to him. No one reads our minds, so we need to be clear about what we want, what we accept, and what we do not.
# 3 - Do not overdo it and do not complicate it when it can be very simple
There are many ways to set a limit, and they do not all require in-depth conversation. If the "ignorance" he did to you is intolerable to you, you do not have to explain this at length. The fact that you will no longer write to them will make it understandable.
The important thing is that you both know what you expect from each other and come to terms with whether or not you can meet those expectations.
Source: Elite Daily