How to figure out what you like in bed

Shkruar nga Anabel

9 Shtator 2019

Imagine you are in bed with your partner and he asks you "what do you want us to do now?" On the surface, he is taking care of you. But at that moment, many people panic and don't know how to respond. This is because they do not know themselves sexually. They do not understand what they want or what they like. If you think of sexuality as an unknown part of yourself, read on below to find out what you like.

Start with the simple things

Most do not realize that they know enough about their preferences in bed. When they hear the question "how you like it," they construct a complicated scenario in their minds without need. The answer doesn't have to be two paragraphs long. It can be something like "I love sweet kisses" or "I love to cuddle after sex." Also, keep in mind that the things you like in bed need not be exclusively orgasmic. As long as it makes you feel good, it's called.

Examine past experiences

Another way to find out what you like is by examining past experiences. How was the best sex of your life? Do you come up with three different memories? What made those experiences so wonderful? Maybe, you felt comfortable with your partner, maybe you enjoyed oral sex too. What about the worst sex you ever did? Why were those experiences so bad? Maybe there was no communication, maybe you were dominated and disliked. Experiences are full of information that helps you understand what you like and don't like.

Explore yourself

Almost everyone regards sex as something that happens to someone else, but first you have to have a relationship with yourself and your sexuality. Masturbate, explore your body. Touch different parts of the body and find out what causes a reaction. Play with different fantasies and scenarios. This method allows you to test different things without the pressure of a parter and you have more time available to examine your reaction.

Be ready to experiment

If you want to know what you like in bed, you need to be ready to experiment, with yourself and with your partner. You don't know if you like something without trying it. of course, you may have limits you don't want to violate, such as no threesome or orgies. Having sex limits is healthy. In the meantime, look carefully at acts that you do not consider to be limits, but not pleasurable. Well, you've never wanted to try a doggy style position, but you have no reason not to. Imagine it, talk to a partner, and when you're ready, give it a try.

Focus on the experience

To understand what you like, you need to focus on the experience of the moment. You have to be able to tell whether something you like or not. For example, if your partner shoots you in the back, do you like the feel of his hand or the idea of "punishing" you? It sounds like a piece of advice, needless to say, but in fact, we are so distracted during sex that we don't record our reaction. Spend a little more energy and experience and observe what is happening to you.

Be open

What you like and what you dislike in bed evolve and change over time depending on experiences, relationships, or personal development. You will never know your full sexual profile and that is very normal. Sex is fun because it always gives you something to discover.

By Vanessa Marin, sex therapist