There are times when even the most empathetic people – the ones who always find the right thing to say – struggle to find the words. Communicating with someone who has breast cancer can be one of those cases.
Dr. Shanthi Gowrinathan, a psychiatrist specializing in psycho-oncology at the John Wayne Cancer Institute, told Healthline that "we associate cancer with an overwhelming fear and thoughts of mortality." That being said, it is difficult to talk to someone who has cancer and especially to know what to say.
According to experts, it's important to focus the conversation on what you believe the other person needs. Here's what you can say:
1. Shall we talk about it?
You might think that when someone tells you they have cancer, they want to talk about the diagnosis. But maybe you won't. If they don't want to, don't take it personally and leave it open to discuss it later.
2. I'm here for you. I'm listening to you.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let him talk. Everyone needs to know they can be heard. Talking helps calm feelings and thoughts.
3. How can I help you?
A breast cancer diagnosis can change a person's normal routine. This question is very important. Be aware that unsolicited advice, even if you've had cancer yourself, is often well-intentioned but not well received by the other party. Experiences are different. If you want to share recommendations and experiences, let the other person decide whether to listen.
Be careful with sentences like "I guess how you feel". No, you never know how the other person feels, and such sentences can minimize their experience and negatively affect them.
For more information on Pink October, breast cancer awareness month, read the following articles:
