Some conversations are just plain awkward. No matter how polite you are or how well-spoken you are, it's still going to be awkward to tell someone that they don't smell good, that their hair is too greasy, or that their underwear is visible when they bend over. So how do you handle it without making the situation even more dramatic?
Don't rush.
As annoying as it may seem, sometimes it's best not to talk at all. If the problem doesn't directly affect you or isn't affecting the other person's life, there's probably no need to intervene. If the situation is recurring and becoming a real problem, then you might want to think differently.
For example, if it's just an isolated incident—like one day when someone didn't get around to washing their hair—there's no need to make a big deal out of it. But if it's happening frequently and creating an uncomfortable situation for everyone, it might be time to have a conversation.
Find the right moment and place.
Such news should never be communicated in a meeting, among a group of people, or at a party. Awkward conversations should be had privately and at a time when neither you nor he/she is distracted or stressed.
And most importantly: Never say that “others have told me that…” Because at that moment, all the person will think is: “Who said that? How many people are talking about me?” and they will focus on that, not on what you are telling them.
Say it clearly, briefly, and tactfully.
When talking about awkward topics, it's important not to beat around the bush so much that the message is completely lost. Instead of starting with "I don't know how to say this, but...", make it as direct and natural as possible. For example:
• “I don't know if you've noticed, but I smell a strange scent today and I think it might be coming from you.”
• “It seems like you haven’t been feeling well lately, but I’ve noticed that you’ve changed the way you take care of yourself. Is there a reason?”
If it's a colleague whose clothing doesn't suit the workplace, you can say:
• “You may not have thought about it, but I think your clothing can affect how others view you professionally.”
Always keep your tone friendly and don't make him feel worse than necessary.
Give them space to react.
When someone is told something embarrassing, the first reaction is often denial, defensiveness, or avoidance. If this happens, stay calm and don't prolong the discussion. If the person has a valid reason—for example, a health problem—listen carefully. If not, sometimes it's best to not argue and give them time to think things through.
What if someone tells you?
If you're on the other end and someone tells you that something is wrong with your hygiene or appearance, it's normal to feel embarrassed, hurt, or even angry. But instead of reacting immediately, take some time to process it. If you're feeling down, step away for a moment, take a deep breath, have a cup of tea, and come back to the conversation with a calm mind.
If you think about it and realize that the person is right, you can simply say, “Thanks for telling me.” If you disagree, at least you've avoided an unnecessary debate.
At the end of the day, the goal of these conversations is not to embarrass someone, but to help without making the situation worse than it already is. So do it tactfully, with understanding, and above all, only when it's truly necessary.
