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'Do boys have eggs?': From Valdrin Sahiti, how to talk to your child about the body & reproduction

'Do boys have eggs?': From Valdrin Sahiti, how to talk to your child
Photo: Valdrin Sahiti and his daughter/ Instagram

Children are innocent when they come to you with questions about their bodies, the differences between the sexes, and how babies are born. As a parent, you can help by providing age-appropriate, honest, and simple explanations.

Valdrin Sahiti's daughter did the same thing in a video he posted, where she asked her dad if "do boys have eggs like girls?" Valdrin started to explain that no, and when her daughter continued with more complicated questions like "if girls' eggs produce children, do boys' eggs determine gender?", he communicated to her that the process is a little difficult to understand and probably after closing the video, he explained in simple words as much as she could understand for her age.

Given this normal parenting situation, how do you explain to your child, according to their age, the questions they may have about their own bodies and those of others?

Age 3–5 years

At this age, children begin to notice the differences between boys' and girls' bodies. Typical questions include:

“Why does he have a penis and I don't?”; “Do I have a vagina?”

How to answer:

Give simple and direct explanations:

"Boys and girls have different bodies. Girls have vaginas, and boys have penises."

Don't go into too much detail. Just make sure they understand the basic distinction and the proper terminology for their body parts. Don't give nicknames to their genitals, as this will teach children that the words "vagina" and "penis" are derogatory.

Age 6–9 years

Children begin to understand the more complex concepts of reproduction and birth. Typical questions might include:

“How is a baby born?”; “How do men and women make children?”

How to answer:

Explain the process simply:

"When a sperm produced by a man's reproductive organ meets an egg from a woman's reproductive organ, a baby can be created."

Use neutral and natural language, without intimate details that may be age-inappropriate.

Age 10–12 years old

At this age, children begin to experience puberty changes and have greater curiosity about their bodies and relationships. Typical questions:

"Why do boys get taller and girls get bigger breasts?"; "When will I be able to have children?"

How to answer:

Talk about puberty:

"Your body is changing because you're growing up. From hormones, boys and girls grow more hair, boys start developing muscles, and girls develop breasts and can start menstruating. Only after girls start menstruating can they get pregnant and have children."

Discuss the concept of reproduction and sexuality in an open and respectful manner, emphasizing responsibility and privacy.

Age 13–15 years old

Teenagers seek more detailed information and often get it from friends or the internet.

Typical questions:

“How does sex work?”; “How do I protect myself from pregnancy or disease?”

How to answer:

Provide accurate and educational information: explain menstruation, ovulation, ejaculation, and safe sex. Also talk about feelings, respectful relationships, and responsible decisions.

General advice for all ages:

Answer simply and honestly , children sense when you are not telling the truth.

Don't prejudge the questions,  every question is normal and shows curiosity.

Repeat and expand on the information,  starting with simple information and adding details as the child grows.

Be calm and open,  calm conversation creates safety and trust.

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