If compliments make you uncomfortable, you probably have some of these flaws

Photo: Jennifer Aniston/ "Friends"

Not everyone knows how to react when they hear something nice about themselves. A simple compliment about your outfit, your smile, or your work can make you feel uncomfortable, like you're being exposed. For many people, it's easier to make a joke, turn it into a joke, or minimize the moment with a self-deprecating comment.

If compliments make you feel uncomfortable, perhaps these are some of the reasons why:

1. You have difficulty with self-esteem.

If you often think "you're not good enough," compliments simply don't match your self-image. Instead of accepting them, you deflect them with a "Well, I'm just lucky..." or "There are people better than me."

2. You grew up with constant criticism.

If compliments were rare and criticism was standard in the home you grew up in, then every kind word might sound like a slur or a prelude to later saying “but...” Even today, you probably find it easier to accept mistakes than praise.

3. You think people are just being polite (not sincere)

It's not that you don't want to be appreciated, but when someone says something nice to you, you think: “Who knows why they said that to me, maybe they didn't really mean it.” It seems like the compliments are more formal than sincere, and so, you don't feel good about accepting them.

4. You feel like you owe them something.

As soon as someone says something positive to you, you feel indebted. You feel like you have to give back or compensate them in some other way. Instead of enjoying the moment, you think, "Now what am I supposed to say?"

5. Suffers from imposter syndrome

You may have achieved a lot, but you think it's all a coincidence, not a result of your abilities. When someone compliments you, your inner voice says, "I don't deserve it, this success isn't for me."

6. You are uncomfortable with emotional sensitivity.

Feeling watched or exposed for something beautiful about yourself can make you feel insecure. Accepting a compliment requires a level of emotional openness that you may not be used to giving easily.

7. Hates attention

You can't stand it when people focus on you. You're used to being "behind the scenes," and any kind of positive attention feels like an unpleasant spotlight. 

8. You don't trust compliments to last.

You've experienced situations where you were praised once and then criticized a little later. So, today you take compliments with reservations because you're used to a kind word being followed by disappointment.

9. You are not used to receiving (only giving)

You're a master at complimenting others, but you have a near-impossible time allowing yourself to receive kind words. Maybe because no one taught you how to expect kindness without immediately returning it.

10. You are always compared to others.

If you've been compared to "perfect" sisters, brothers, great friends, or cousins ??your whole life, the compliments sound unbelievable. You don't feel like a winner, you feel like a "less good version."

11. You're just not used to kindness.

You simply weren't raised in an environment where kindness and appreciation were commonplace. When someone treats you with kindness, your body and mind react as if it were a threat, not a treat.