Being a single parent is challenging under any circumstances. But when the breakup is still fresh and the heart is still hurting, everything can seem impossible to cope with. That's what happened to a young single dad who chose to share a dark emotional moment on TikTok — and instead of understanding, he received harsh criticism.
Jonathan McDonald, a father of three, posted a video in which he confessed that he was so emotionally devastated that he couldn't get out of bed. His 16-year-old daughter was cooking dinner and taking care of his younger brothers (ages 5 and 2) just so he could have a moment to cry in peace.
"I felt like a failure as a parent because I wasn't there. I just wanted my wife to come back and my heart wouldn't hurt anymore," he said.
Instead of empathy, he faced judgment
The comments were divided into two camps: some came to her defense, others accused her of "raising her daughter like a mother" and that she "should have stood up and taken care of the children herself." One comment stated:
"You have suffered a great loss, but so have your children. You should cry together, not rely on the girl."
But many others noticed something important:
"If a mother had posted this video, the comments would have been full of support." "This shows how little men's mental health is valued..."
This double standard became apparent: men who show empathy are still seen as “weak,” while women are embraced and supported.
In another video, the father tried to calm critics. He explained that this was not a repeat situation. The daughter had willingly agreed to cook a simple meal, while the younger children later went to their grandparents who live in an apartment attached to the house.
“When they came back, I went out to help, but the girl said, ‘I’ll take care of this. Calm down.’ I really appreciate her care.”
Was this a case of the "parented child"?
Psychologists define "parented child" as the case when the child takes on the role of an adult on a consistent basis. In this case, it was an isolated situation, not a recurring pattern. And after all - every family goes through difficult days, and sometimes, support is mutual.
After all, parents are people. Men are people. And sometimes, being a parent means allowing yourself to have weak moments — without shame, without fear, without judgment. Because our children don't need robots who don't feel tired, but people who teach them that feelings are not weaknesses, but an important part of our mental health.
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Source: Your Tango
