There's a list of things that therapists say parents shouldn't do to their children to prevent leaving emotional scars. Morgan Pommells, a childhood trauma therapist from Ontario, Canada, shared some helpful tips that parents should use when raising their children.
Here are 12 of them:
1. Don't yell at your kids as soon as you get home from work.
2. Don't give them the "silent treatment" when you're upset.
Don't use emotional warfare to punish children.
3. Don't wake them up with nerves or screaming.
Psychologically, yelling at children does nothing but damage their nervous system.
4. Don't treat your siblings so differently that it's obvious you have a favorite.
5. Don't say "I was the bad guy then" when children show they are hurt.
6. Don't refuse to apologize because "you're the parent"
7. Don't make the whole family sit on edge when you're in a bad mood.
8. Protect the other parent if they have done something wrong to the children
9. Don't rely on your child for emotional support the way you would with a partner.
The therapist noted that parents should prioritize their children's safety in all situations and if they do not, it will result in their children seeking a childhood trauma therapist once they grow up.
10. Don't treat children unfairly because "the world isn't fair"
This doesn't actually "prepare" them for anything.
11. Don't see your children as an extension of you.
They are much more than that.
12. Give up the belief that children should be grateful because you feed and shelter them.
This is the basic job of parents. If parents actively use any of these tactics in their parenting style, they will only cause resentment from their child, as well as drastically affect their self-esteem.
"Most of these mistakes are made on a subconscious level. But that doesn't mean they are without consequences or that we shouldn't strive for better," the therapist explained.
Being able to break the cycle of childhood trauma will only lead to a healthy transition into adulthood. Parents play a crucial role in ensuring that their children have a safe and nurturing environment to grow up in, which helps minimize the risk of childhood trauma.
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Source: Your Tango
