Unpopular Opinion: Couples should sleep separately!

^{Introducing the new column, Unpopular Opinion. We all have some opinions that, if we said them out loud, we feel like we'd end up in jail. Not because they're necessarily wrong, but because they're... different. They're not what society expects us to hear, they're not supported by the masses, and, above all, they're not appropriate to say at the dinner table with the family. These are the opinions we keep to ourselves, share only with friends, or simply bite our lips to keep them inside. Unpopular opinions are precisely those opinions that most people consider strange, daring, or just plain wrong. But not every opinion that goes outside the rules is necessarily wrong. So, it's time to say some not-so-popular truths.
The next day I woke up feeling calmer than I've ever felt. For the first time, I realized how important personal space is, even within a marriage. It's always seemed to me that intimacy is built by sharing every night with someone, but perhaps, it's also strengthened by giving yourself space.}

"At first I thought I would feel strange. It's not that my husband and I are inseparable, but we have always shared the same bed, never thinking of another alternative. When he left on a business trip and I was left alone, it felt like something was missing. The bed seemed bigger, the room emptier, the silence deeper than usual. But as the night wore on, I realized something I hadn't thought of before: maybe, it's not necessary to sleep together every night.

At first, I found myself feeling a kind of emptiness, but after a few hours something unexpected happened. For the first time in a long time, I felt a peace that I had not felt before. The bed was all mine. There were no small movements that woke me up, no deep breathing next to me to change the rhythm of my sleep, no one to interrupt the moments when I felt the need to stay awake longer, to read or think in complete silence. It was the strangest and most freeing feeling I had had in a long time.

The next day I woke up feeling calmer than I've ever felt. For the first time, I realized how important personal space is, even within a marriage. It's always seemed to me that intimacy is built by sharing every night with someone, but perhaps it's also strengthened by giving yourself space.

I began to reflect: how many nights had I spent trying to find a comfortable position because my husband moved around a lot? How many times had I made small concessions, not watching a movie I wanted because he wanted to go to bed early? How many times had I kept quiet and not done what I liked, just for the sake of a routine I had never questioned? And above all: how many times had I woken up tired, not from love, but from a lack of space for myself?

Of course, I'm not saying that we shouldn't share a bed with our partner, but is it healthy for every night to be the same story? Wouldn't it be better to have the opportunity to spend a night alone every now and then, to feel the absence of the other again, to create a kind of nostalgia and not take each other's presence for granted?

When my husband returned, I felt a great joy. It was a different feeling, fresher, more powerful. For the first time I realized that perhaps the secret to a strong relationship is not only to always be there for the other person, but also to know when to take your space. Not because love is fading, but because that's the only way to keep it alive.

"I now see the idea of ??sleeping apart differently. It's not a symbol of distance, but a way to maintain space, independence, and desire for each other. And maybe, that's what makes a relationship last." - written for Anabel by an honest woman.

Copyright Anabel.al / Reprinting without permission of the editorial staff is prohibited.