If someone thinks that a relationship with benefits is simply a “quiet agreement” between two people, let’s just say that the reality is a little different. From the stories of Anabel’s readers, it seems that this type of relationship often starts out easy, but ends with mixed emotions, inevitable tension, and sometimes a lot of drama!
When your ex turns into a "friend with benefits"
"We broke up because the relationship wasn't working, but after a few months we met again by chance and decided to keep each other just for sex. We liked each other a lot, so this period lasted a year and a half. Then I started a relationship and broke up."
When the chemistry is crazy, but he has someone else
"Nothing happened between us, but every time we kissed, it drove me crazy. Just the way he talked was exciting. He was trying to forget someone else he loved, but in the end he told her he still loved her and they got back together. I'm happy for him, but also for myself, because I know that if something more had happened, I would have fallen in love."
When you set rules that you shouldn't break
“We met at university, we were friends. After a few years, he started to tease me, but I told him bluntly: ‘I’m not going to get involved with you for anything more than sex.’ Of course, he agreed. We set clear rules and for 6 months it was great. But I ended it because he started to get emotionally involved.”
When a friend with benefits becomes a colleague with benefits
"The hottest colleague at work, 11 years older than me. He was very angry with me and always made fun of me. I knew that that energy had a problem - it needed to be vented. We resolved the situation in the office, on the night shift, in the bathroom... and eventually we started traveling together on weekends. But in the eyes of others? Zero communication. It wasn't just benefits for me, but he didn't want more. I finally hung up when I saw that, just two hours after he had given me oral, he was at a romantic dinner with someone else. I felt used and blocked him everywhere."
Is there a proper way to stop it?
Some continue to maintain the relationship for a long time, while others end it as soon as they feel it is getting too deep. But is there an exact formula for ending it?
One of the reader stories best summarizes the dilemmas of a relationship with benefits:
"It started with a glance, a casual touch, and then I found myself 'crossing the line'. In the end, I told him I didn't want a relationship. Surprisingly, he didn't want one either. Simple, right? Now the problem is: how do I stop it? I can't find a way, but honestly, I don't think this situation is that bad."
If you feel stuck in a situation like this and can't find a way out, maybe it's time to ask yourself a simple question: What does your friend with benefits give you more - pleasure or confusion? If the answer is the latter, maybe it's time to get out of the game.
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