Mistakes that unlucky people in love make in their 30s

All your friends are slowly settling down. Some are starting families. You're tired of not having your plus one with you at the activities you attend. What should you do? That's a question for another time - but we can help you evaluate the biggest romantic relationship mistakes women in their thirties often make.

1. Constant meetings with the same 'type'

You have a pattern. You may be happy with your pattern, but it's probably time to change it! Go against your instincts, it might work out for the best!

2. Waiting until every other aspect of life is fixed

Don't think that when you finally rise to the occasion, Prince Charming will appear before you with a bouquet of flowers. Few things in life follow a set order, and your love life is not one of them. The "universe" doesn't know when you're ready to meet "the one." You have to go find them yourself, and that (usually) takes work. 

3. Being too direct

We get it: the clock is ticking, but connecting, getting to know someone, and (especially) deciding if you want that person to be your life partner are all steps in a delicate process that requires patience and self-restraint. So be gentle: it's good practice. 

4. The quest for perfection

Striving for perfection in a relationship is a mistake because it sets unrealistic expectations, leading to constant criticism, dissatisfaction, and a lack of intimacy. It can damage the ability to appreciate a partner for who they are, including their flaws, and can hinder the development of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

5. Letting self-pity win

Yes, another engagement on your social media makes you feel miserable. Sure, you're entitled to a few moments of self-pity, but there comes a time when you have to leave some things behind and move on.

6. Thinking about money

This is a complicated issue. In your 20s, the idealist in you believed that money didn't matter. Love is all you need, you (and John Lennon) thought. 

Then life happened, and a partner with a big, fat salary might have been the solution after all. Well, maybe that's true in the short term. But after the luxurious vacations have passed, the tempting gifts have been exchanged, what you're left with - aside from a bunch of material things - is a real, living human being, with no monetary value. 

Healthy finances may make things comfortable, but they won't support you through personality conflicts, scary health problems, family issues, and insecurities. Money can't hold a relationship together.

7. Thinking that every person you meet is 'the one' or 'the one'

We know, we know, it's so hard not to do this. Let the relationship happen. Focus on your partner, not your idea of ??a partner. The more pressure you put on them, the easier it will be to fall apart at the slightest touch - and you know what that means: starting over with a new man (group sigh).

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Source: Your Tango