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Let me tell you why I'm grateful he left me for Valentine's Day.
"Perhaps the last thing you expect on the most romantic day of the year from the love of your life is to look you in the eye and tell you, 'This isn't working.' It happened to me."
The first boyfriend I ever had broke up with me on my second Valentine's Day together. He came down to my apartment building in the morning, with some roses that he had apparently picked up at the last minute from the store next door. Even the flowers looked sad with their withered petals, just like the expression on his face when I enthusiastically brought him into the room.
He sat on my bed and I was standing because I realized something was wrong and when something is wrong, I like to stand. I feel like I process emotions better, like the energy is flowing through my whole body, instead of coming out of my eyes and nose in the form of tears and snot (keep that in mind if you are in the same situation hahaha).
Within five minutes, we went from being madly in love to being strangers forever. He told me he didn't love me anymore. He told me without a trace of shame that he had another girl. He then said he wanted to wait until after Valentine's Day to break up, but in the end he thought, "It was meant to be done anyway, so why not get rid of it as a job."
I never wanted to give him the privilege of the "sad ending of a love story" scene and asked him to disappear from my room. As a dramatic 19-year-old, I told him to leave my flowers there, okay. I remember the roses as they were now, they were orange and yellow and I was comforted by the way their heads were hanging.
I felt terrible for the first 2-3 weeks, but surprisingly, it didn't last long. Months after the breakup, we made it a topic of humorous conversation when I went out for coffee with friends. Obviously, I'm happy with my fiancé now, and I don't even know if I would recognize my first ex's face if I saw him on the street today, but I'm very grateful to him because after that breakup, I feel like I learned a lot.
I don't know if it was age or other circumstances, but I feel like my first ex completely changed the way I viewed February 14th. And not for the worse, actually! After him, I never spent a single Valentine's Day alone, I would go out with friends or my mom and spend some quality time.
Plus, even though I didn't experience the breakup that badly, let alone that it gave me any kind of liberation at all, I became very alert to early signals about whether or not he would date me in the future. My boyfriend at the time had to be asked to go out with my friends, he would start screaming if I touched his phone, and we would miss making plans because he would always cancel them with a thousand and one excuses. Of course, even then, these actions didn't seem right to me, but I was so naive and it seemed like the world would collapse if I asked him to break up with us.
But one of the biggest and best lessons I learned from that day, girl, is that on February 14th, no matter who you're with or what you're planning to do that day, you should do something for yourself. Go out for a treat, go out to dinner, get your nails done, go shopping.
I know it's become a cliché that you have to love yourself (and I, who have plans with my fiancé for today, am not the best person to say this :p) so whatever your idea of ??self-love is, make sure you invest in it, because for men, there won't be a single Albanian woman left, I promise hahaha. Just live your life and you'll see that opportunities will present themselves, byeee <3."
Note: The article has been adapted by the editorial team for editorial purposes and clarity. Copyright Anabel.al / Reprinting without the permission of the editorial team is prohibited.
