The “chat phase” is the phase when messages make you smile and your heart beats faster every time someone’s name appears on the screen. But, at the same time, it’s also the period when questions like “What are we?” and the fear of making mistakes are always there. The chat phase at the beginning of a relationship can be stressful, but in fact, it’s essential for a healthy and lasting relationship.
What is the conversation stage?
You could say this is the “are we or aren’t we” period. It’s when you’re getting to know each other, exchanging messages, and maybe even going on dates, but there’s no official title yet. This is a shaky ground, where everything can lead to a relationship or just end. For some, this stage lasts 3-4 months, and it’s often the time when you decide whether it’s worth moving forward or not.
Why is this stage important?
Beyond the anxiety and uncertainty, the dating phase is a time to build a solid foundation. It helps you get to know each other better, find out if you're compatible, and determine if the relationship can move forward. If you move past this stage too quickly, you risk getting involved with someone who may not be right for you. On the other hand, if it lasts too long, you could get stuck in a "situationship" that has no future.
How do you know you're doing well?
There are several signs that the conversation phase is moving in the right direction:
• Communication is pleasant and ongoing.
• You both show interest and make plans to meet up.
• The chemistry between you is felt both in messages and when you meet.
• You have a lot in common and the conversations flow naturally.
When things aren't going well
If messages take hours or days to respond to, plans to meet up repeatedly fall through, or you feel like you're carrying everything on your shoulders, maybe things aren't going as they should. In these cases, it's a good idea to evaluate whether it's worth continuing.
What to do if the conversation stalls?
Don't be afraid to talk openly about your feelings and expectations. If you want to move to a more serious phase, you can start the conversation with phrases like:
• “I really enjoy the time we spend together and I would like to know how you feel too.”
• “I've decided to focus on us and not date other people. How do you feel about that?”
The conclusion?
The conversation phase can be uncertain, but it's a necessary step in building a strong, lasting connection. So enjoy it and don't rush it - good things take time!
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