Has your ex blocked you on social media? You're neither the first nor the last, although you were surprised, given that you broke up amicably.
So what is the real reason behind the lockdown?
Psychotherapist Jeff Guenther argues that blocking an ex from social media is just another way to cope with a breakup. It's natural that you can't forget because your ex's face is constantly part of your thoughts, so blocking them at least keeps them off your phone screen. In fact, Guenther argues that we don't even need anyone to warn us about this action: He can just move on with his life — and it's fine for us to do the same.
Therapist Leah Aguirre, speaking on the same issue, highlights how easily someone can get carried away and start checking out what their ex is up to on their social media. This may show human interest, but in many cases it hinders the breakup process, as it offers many opportunities for communication.
Blocking the other person from our virtual daily life helps us understand that this relationship is over and leaves no room for creating hypothetical scenarios in our heads, which are usually triggered by some audio-visual stimulus (photo with a person we don't know, etc.). So, it's a matter of boundaries, and every boundary is good when it helps us move forward as people.
Especially if a relationship has ended in an ungraceful way and one party did not have a very good time during it, it is necessary to block the other person in order to begin the healing process of any trauma created. Bad memories need to go away, so first the ex needs to be removed from the list of people we follow and are following us.
According to an article from the University of New Hampshire, it is important not to change the way you express your feelings after a breakup. So in this context, everyone has different coping mechanisms. In the same article, completely ignoring social media, such as not opening “Instastory”, or even using it to a limited extent, is mentioned as advice. In this way, the mind of the separated person can escape from thoughts related to the relationship and its good times, slowly leaving the past where it belongs.
"Focus on new experiences," the article says.
This can only happen through one – or more – blocks. As long as the ban is done in real life, so that everyone can move forward, there is nothing wrong with doing it online as well.
So, if you find yourself stuck, don't be sad, but see it as the right step to move on with your life without his presence, even virtually.
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