Relationships

Is it normal to hate performing oral sex?

Is it normal to hate performing oral sex?

Oral sex is often presented as the part of the sexual act that everyone mostly likes to take more than give to their partner. But just like any other sexual act, there are people who love it, people who hate it, and people who have no strong feelings either way.

So, of course, it's normal to hate performing oral sex. It is also normal to enjoy oral sex. And it's normal not to particularly care about it, but to do it because your partner loves it. The same goes for the obsession with oral sex.

Sex is such a varied human experience that "normal" means nothing. You can find someone for every point of the spectrum, from absolute hate to absolute love with almost any sexual act.

But most of the questions people ask are, "Is this normal?" What are you really asking when you ask if it's normal to hate performing oral sex? Are you asking permission not to? Looking to win an argument with a partner or friend? Are you worried that you are unusual, strange or messed up?

When people ask if something is "normal," they are usually asking if there is something abnormal about them. You absolutely can get an answer, perhaps with the help of a therapist.

If there's a deeper trauma fueling your aversion to oral sex and keeping you from living your best sex life, then it's worth working through and moving on. But whether or not you have outside support, you always have the right not to do any sexual act you hate.

It doesn't have to be that deep. Maybe you don't like the way it feels to perform oral sex. If so, you are not obligated to do it.

You have every right to tell your partner that you're just not good at oral sex and don't want to do it. They are also completely within their rights to decide whether or not this works for them as well.

In conclusion: Yes, it's normal to hate giving oral sex to your partner. If you think there is a deeper problem and want to address it, find yourself a sex therapist. And if you don't? You are perfectly fine just the way you are.

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