Many people think they have a complete understanding of how others see them. Maybe you think you're a great communicator, a good number cruncher, or a manager who always brings out the best in the team. But the truth can often be very different. In fact, we can often have the way others perceive us completely wrong.
Imagine a humble manager who believed he treated his colleagues with respect and empathy, but after working with an executive coach, he learned a harsh truth: His habit of interrupting others had made his colleagues see him as arrogant and conceited. Was that his intention? Absolutely not. But that was the perception of others…
Where does the problem begin?
1. Habits that we don't notice in ourselves - Similar to the case above, many of us may have habits that we don't even notice, but that leave the wrong impression on others. Interrupting someone may seem like an innocent gesture when you're in the middle of a discussion, but to others it can be interpreted as disrespect or arrogance.
2. False Confidence - We all have a version of ourselves that we think we reflect to others. The problem is that this version is often influenced by our self-confidence or our desire to be seen a certain way. This leads us to an illusion that we are understood and appreciated as we wish.
3. Lack of honest feedback - Many times others are reluctant to give honest feedback. Sometimes because of the fear of conflict or the desire not to hurt you. This lack of transparency lets us think everything is fine, even when it isn't.
What can you do to understand how others see you?
· Ask for honest feedback - Getting genuine feedback from those who work with you is essential. It's not always easy to listen to criticism, but it's the first step to improving. Look for clear and specific comments, not just general words.
· Observe yourself - Take time to reflect on your daily behaviors. Do you have any habits that could be misinterpreted? Are you conscious of how you communicate with others? The more you try to understand yourself, the easier it will be to understand how others see you.
· Learn to take criticism - Criticism should not be seen as a personal attack. When someone gives you a negative comment, try to take it as an opportunity to learn and improve, instead of getting defensive or feeling attacked.
Perception is the key
At the end of the day, how you see others can affect the relationships you form, both professionally and personally. Although it is important to remain yourself, it is equally important to ensure that you are perceived correctly by those around you. Sometimes, it's best to stop and see yourself from the perspective of others to understand how they really see you. Don't just rely on your own thoughts, learn from those around you.
