The phrase "I'm sorry" can be used in many different ways. We have the sincere and heartfelt apology, but also the sarcastic one that ignites the most debate ("I'm sorry I can't read minds!"). Then there's the superficial apology—one that's often said reluctantly, just to close the conversation. And of course, we have all experienced forgiveness that never comes even though it is rightly expected and demanded.
But today we will focus on another type of forgiveness: The one that comes from anxiety. Forgiving anxiety is a protective behavior, a way to temporarily alleviate feelings of anxiety. These behaviors include avoidance, safety seeking, and other actions that create temporary relief. The problem with these mechanisms is that they do not solve the underlying problem, but only make it worse over time.
Why is forgiveness from anxiety problematic?
Forgiveness that comes from anxiety is often related to the fear of being judged by others and the possible consequences of that judgment, whether emotional (like shame) or practical (like losing a job). A common example is when we feel the need to apologize in advance, saying, "I'm sorry if this report is not up to your expectations," even when it's not necessary. This action comes from fear of rejection or punishment, which is basically a strategy to avoid a bad outcome.
Long-term effects of remission from anxiety
Although this type of forgiveness may provide temporary relief, over time it becomes a disturbing behavior and creates more problems. Rather than addressing the source of the anxiety, forgiveness from the anxiety reinforces it, making it harder to combat. This apology also lowers our self-confidence and creates the impression that we are not sure of ourselves - something that can negatively affect both personal and professional relationships.
How to stop forgiveness from anxiety
Recognizing this behavior is the first step to combating it. Instead of using forgiveness as a shield against fear, we should work to develop long-term strategies that include acceptance, learning from mistakes, and problem solving. This way we can face the real source of anxiety and build more confidence and security in ourselves.
Suggested Articles:
