To say that we have never cared about what others think would be a small lie that most of us have told at least once. In one way or another, each of us has tried to be liked, accepted, or "fit in." Especially at a young age, the desire to be part of a group, to be accepted by society, is an almost universal feeling.
But recently, a seemingly simple theory has attracted attention and sparked widespread discussion on social media: “Let them go.” This approach, introduced by author and personal development coach Mel Robbins, has gone viral after an Instagram video received millions of views.
What is “Leave Them”?
At first glance, it seems like simple advice: if someone doesn't include you, doesn't give you the attention you expect, doesn't treat you the way you want, let them go. Don't force them!
The examples Robbins gives are clear:
– “If your friends don’t invite you to lunch this weekend, let them not invite you.”
– “If someone you are attracted to isn’t looking for a serious relationship, let them go.”
The idea is this: people show you who they are with their actions, not their words. And instead of trying to change them, let them be who they are.
Why does this theory work?
According to Robbins and therapists like Gloria Zhang, this approach helps us give up the control we try to exert over others, a control that, in fact, we never gain.
"It allows us to release the burden of responsibility for things that are beyond our control," Zhang says. "We can't force people to behave differently than they want to."
How many times have we exhausted ourselves trying to get someone to love us more, to understand us more deeply, to appreciate us more? And how many times have we felt disappointed when they didn't meet our expectations, no matter how reasonable they seemed to us?
“Let Them Go” is not indifference. It is acceptance. It is saying: I have no control over others, but I do have control over how I react. This brings peace, emotional maturity, and clarity to relationships.
How do you apply it in your life?
1. Lower your expectations of others.
Not in the sense of allowing disrespect, but in stopping constantly seeking advantage.
2. Take responsibility for yourself and only yourself
Don't play the victim when something goes wrong. Accept your part in the relationship. But don't take responsibility for the emotions or actions of others, it's not your job to please everyone.
3. Let people be themselves.
When you don't try to shape them into what you want, you'll understand more quickly who the right person is for you. This is the best possible filtering.
The “Let Them Go” theory reminds us that people aren’t necessarily bad or uncaring, they just are who they are. If they don’t fit into your life, they probably aren’t meant to be a part of it.
