When dealing with a narcissist, emotional intelligence can be of great help. These strategies include key elements of emotional intelligence, such as regulating emotions, understanding relationship dynamics, and self-awareness.
1. Trust your feelings
If you have emotional intelligence, you are usually aware of your feelings. Acknowledging, identifying and processing emotions allows you to understand and act on them constructively, rather than reacting. However, a narcissist often makes you doubt your own feelings by imposing his own distorted version of reality. They may try to use this as their most dangerous weapon against you.
Therefore, one of the emotional intelligence tools you can use against a narcissist is to trust what you feel. If you feel that something unfair is happening in the relationship, then it probably is. Your feelings are valid and deserve attention!
2. Regulate your emotions
The ability to regulate emotions allows you to appear calm even in situations where you are provoked. If you "lose control," which is understandable in these situations, the narcissist may point out that you are the "problem." He can also use your words spoken in moments of anger and spread them to others behind your back. Although it can be very difficult, you must remain calm when a narcissist tries to manipulate you.
3. Understand relationship dynamics
As an emotionally intelligent person, you have a knack for understanding the dynamics of relationships. This gift is useful when you learn how a narcissist tries to manipulate you.
A narcissist usually includes a grain of truth in his twisted story. When you hear a true fact, you often think that the whole narrative must be correct, but it is not. Remind yourself not to fall into the trap of something false just because it contains a tiny grain of truth.
4. Liability
Responsibility is another component of emotional intelligence. It is important to only take responsibility for your part of the mistake and continue to hold the narcissist responsible for the emotional abuse.
5. Set boundaries
The latter strategy involves combining emotion regulation, understanding relationship dynamics, and self-awareness. Your emotional intelligence allows you to stay calm, reflect on the situation, understand the manipulation, and set a boundary so you don't get hurt or taken advantage of by the narcissist again in the future.
If the narcissist demands an explanation, simply repeat the established boundary. You may have to politely repeat it a few times until he accepts it.
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