We have all experienced jealousy at some point in our lives. No one plans to be jealous, but this emotion often comes to the fore when one of our friends has something we want, or someone is in a relationship we wish we had. In the most common case, when the partner does something that we signal as excessive action with someone else.
Jealousy, like all other human emotions, is not an uncommon experience. It's especially common if you feel insecure about what you have, aren't getting what you want, or are worried that you won't achieve the life you want.
Although it is normal to experience some feelings of jealousy, many people experience it as a passing sensation, but some others experience it in a way that becomes destructive to their relationships. Unlike other emotions, jealousy does not usually bring positive results. If we don't deal with deep feelings of jealousy, they take control of how we interact with others, how we think about our relationships, and how we function on a daily basis.
When you're focused on what others can have, you're not working on your own goals or personal growth. Managing feelings of jealousy can help you live a more fulfilling life.
Step 1: Realize that jealousy is negatively affecting your life
Maybe you're scrolling through your social media and feel a pang of jealousy when you see an ex in a picture with his new partner. Or see pictures of your friends having fun at an event where you don't seem to have been invited. For some people, it's a general feeling that others have a life that you don't have, but that you want. Maybe their house is bigger and nicer, they take nice vacations, or they have a family that you wish you had.
Whatever the reason, you notice that when you interact with people who have things you don't, you find it hard to feel happy for them, or your obsession with your ex's new relationship is getting in the way. move on and find someone new.
Do yourself a favor! Accept that your jealousy is a sign that you are unhappy and it is important to recognize this. It also shows that you are dealing with uncertainty. This step is necessary to start the change process.
Step 2: Reflecting on your needs and desires
When faced with uncontrolled jealousy, you have to ask yourself if the things you want, (that others have), would really make you happy. You should also ask yourself what is preventing you from achieving what would make you happy. Then ask yourself again if getting what you think you want will be enough to bring you peace and contentment.
For example, if your best friend is getting married and you're jealous because she's found someone and you don't understand why you haven't found a partner as perfect as hers, ask yourself, "Do you need a romantic partner for to be really happy?”; "What can you do to find a partner that suits you?"; "Will a life partner be the solution to your dream life, or are there other things you need to have or achieve?". Analyze your values ??and focus on your growth and future.
As you watch the talk of the perfect life on social media or interact with people you're jealous of, realize that you only see the surface of their lives and what they choose to share. They may share happy moments and beautiful details because they want you to believe they are happy. Don't let jealousy affect your life!
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