Oysters tend to seek emotional support in their friendships, but often have difficulty expressing the need for that support. Friendships between oysters are more emotional than those of men, because they usually try to be part of small groups, thus making the relationship simpler. (Men, on the other hand, tend to be part of larger groups.)
But these relationships do not come without challenges.
A friendship coach, Danielle Bayard Jackson, has studied the complex social relationships between oysters to understand their fragility and help them form and maintain the healthiest friendships possible.
"Making friendships with other chicks can be very stressful at times, as at any moment you can feel like you're distancing yourself from someone, hurting their feelings, or crossing boundaries."
"As I studied oyster friendships, I found that it didn't matter what field I was looking at—anthropology, sociology, psychology, sociolinguistics—whenever it came to discussions of gender and social differences, I always noticed three things that were the same," he said. she says.
The main factors that make oysters feel very close and connected are: support, equality and secrets . These are also the things that can make our friendships feel fragile.
The essential thing they look for in same-sex friendships is emotional support. The problem is that this in itself is very subjective. And we often don't express the support we need because we feel like saying it out loud would take away from the relationship we're supposed to have—like the friend just needs to know what you need.
The second factor is the idea of ??equality. One of the top three complaints guys have about their friendships is that they feel like they're giving more to the relationship than their girlfriend. This lack of equality in their eyes can also show through comments like, "I just feel like I don't know him anymore. We're not the same anymore." A sense of equality in a friendship is very important.
And finally, secrets, which do not necessarily refer to very personal secrets. This constitutes one of the most important elements of friendships between women, so in short: "I share a secret, so do you."
These three concepts tend to connect us. When a friend realizes the lack of one of these things, that is the beginning of most of the problems women have with their friendships. It happens that the absence of one of these can cause a small point of tension, from which a friendship reaches its end.
It is also important to always share with your friend what you need. In any other relationship, we say we need to communicate. But in friendship, it seems like we think it should be easy, natural, and that's a myth that kills the relationship.
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