Sex for the first time is not always the most glamorous thing. Connecting with a new partner, even one you like, can be difficult, feel uncomfortable, or just plain different. But that doesn't necessarily mean it can't be done better.
We're not talking about sex that's bad because they didn't respect your boundaries or otherwise made you feel insecure, of course. (There are no second chances in that situation.) And maybe the sexual spark just isn't there—in which case you can trust your instincts and don't need us to tell you what to do. But it's also possible that you just need to work out some, let's call them, kinks.
Here's what to do if your first time with your new partner left you wanting:
Setting expectations too high is dangerous because it increases the chances of failure
After the first time, ask yourself, "Was I focusing on the moment or was I focusing too much on the experience I had created in my mind?".
If you're comparing this sexual experience to what you've imagined or to past partners, you're missing out on what's right in front of you.
Focus on your senses by paying attention to what you are hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling. This mindful approach to sex can increase your pleasure by making it a wonderful sensory experience where you are more in sync with your partner.
Be clear about what you both want in bed:
Bad sex, in fact, is often simply the result of bad communication. You must communicate about sex with your partner, verbally or non-verbally.
It is also important to remember that communication is a two-way street; when expressing your wishes, be sure to ask about the other person's as well.
Remember that sex is supposed to be fun!
Having sex should be fun and not an added problem. We tend to worry about pleasing our partner, obsess over how we look, etc. Of course, it can be awkward if the sex was bad the first time, but remember that your partner (or you) may have been nervous, or perhaps worried about what you were thinking or feeling.
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