10 helpful ways to set boundaries with your family members

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There is no doubt that everyone loves parents, grandparents, grandchildren, in short, the whole family. But sometimes it seems like they don't know the word boundaries, taking every situation or event for granted and forgetting that people should be understood and respected regardless of blood ties.

Therapists McMahon and Elizabeth Earnshaw provide some effective methods for setting these boundaries, even when it comes to your family members:

#1 Assess their emotions

Communicating and appreciating human experiences is something real and valuable, and even an effective strategy to help diffuse emotions and lower the "guard wall" before setting boundaries.

#2 Make specific requests

Instead of speaking in generalities, look for something specific that your family member could do differently. With objective, specific requests like these, both parties are clear about what you want.

#3 Change habits and behaviors

In return for compliance, show your family members a positive change or outcome if they comply with your request. "Changing our habits or behaviors can be difficult, but this is a pure effort to respect boundaries. For example, if you call your grandmother to tell her the exact time when you finish work and then go to her, you relieve her of the burden of anxiety and waiting until the bell rings. Something seemingly small, but of great value.

#4 Set active boundaries

You can tell people how long you can stay at the party before you arrive or tell people about a topic that was not known before you gathered at the family dinner. Respecting boundaries is a form of a message that must be followed and respected by all family members.

#5 Responsible boundaries

Responsive boundaries, on the other hand, are the boundaries we set when people do something the moment a boundary is violated. This could also be the fact that you don't want to talk about a certain topic at those moments, you don't want to participate in a meeting with family members, etc.

#6 Breathe

Space for yourself, to calm down can help prevent a potential conflict or discussion in an environment where everyone is calm.

#7 Think before you speak and back up what you say

To avoid ambiguities, you should think carefully before you speak, and even give approval to things with a nod or a slightly higher tone of voice.

#8 Try not to open old wounds

If things get heated, it's easy to linger on an old feud, while there can be plenty of problems and conflicting situations of the moment.

#9 Avoid attacks

Attacking your personality, tendencies, values ??or desires will make your family members feel undervalued and there will be very little chance that they will listen to you.

#10 Practice setting boundaries that are right for you

There isn't always a right way to set a boundary, but when you show others through words or actions that this is the right thing to do for you, then you've given your message 100%.

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Source: Pure Wow