Olta Gixhari, in an interview for Bordo, shared details of her pregnancy with her second son, showing that she is enjoying it more than her first pregnancy.
"The truth is that I am enjoying the second pregnancy much more than the first. Every now and then I act "as if I'm not pregnant" and that way I enjoy it more without stress. At first I was more careful than I should have been. But, they told me that with the second child you really become a mother", said Olta.
But, she also shared a concern about the children's jealousy, saying that she is psychologically preparing her son, Amari, for this change that will happen.
"I have been told that children become very jealous. I know I have prepared psychologically for this thing, for Amari. I'm talking to him, I'm working hard with him, but we'll see until the moment comes. I am convinced that it will not be easy, because Amari is a very pampered child", she said.
But what to do when children are jealous and have rivalry with each other?
First, what is sibling rivalry and jealousy?
Jealousy and rivalry between children is associated with ongoing conflict between children in the same family. It appears in the form of jealousy when another child is added to the family, or even during growth and can manifest in the following ways:
- Verbal and physical confrontations
- Using offensive language
- Arguments
- Feelings of envy
- Expressing that you do not love your newborn brother/sister
What causes rivalry?
- Major lifestyle changes
- Ages and stages of growth
- Jealousy
- Lack of conflict resolution skills
- Family dynamics
Descriptions of situations
Comparison between children: It may seem that comparison with other children can serve as a perfect motivator. However, the child will only hear that you love his or her sibling more and that he or she is worse. It creates feelings of bitterness and envy, which can lead to self-esteem issues, so if you're thinking of telling your older child how good and wise the newborn is, maybe you should consider other words and avoid comparison .
Caring for other children: It is recommended that older children engage in the care of the younger ones, but when this turns into a form of duty for the child, problematic relationships are likely to be caused.
Expectations: Situations that vindicate younger children can burden other children with a sense of responsibility and constant pressure.
Competition: Another bad habit that many parents have is openly provoking competition between children. The emotions they experience from losing or winning are really strong. This is why it would be more appropriate for parents to make their children teammates instead of competitors.
How to achieve harmony:
1. Forget what you know about "fairness": If all children are different, then the way parents should treat them differs.
2. Prioritize one at a time: Every day, try to find a few minutes to talk to each of the children individually.
3. Promote a team culture in the family.
4. Give everyone space: If the children share a bedroom, designate areas of the house where everyone can be alone.
Be aware that: Children will fight. Maybe it's not your fault, but if their fights are excessive or really disrupt the family harmony, it's time to handle the conflict differently.
