A lot can happen in three months. Let's say it's enough time to decide on a new job, start the gym, take a trip, etc. It seems that even in the matter of feelings, the "rule of three months" is a sufficient time to understand some signals about the person with whom you have started a new relationship.
But can three months really be enough time to learn more about the person you've started to have feelings for? This is a point where experts are divided!
What really is the three month rule during a couple's acquaintance?
According to experts, the three-month period from the first day of meeting someone is enough time for the partner to discover the true intentions, personality and character. But not everyone agrees with this thesis. "The first three months of meeting someone are a time of illusions. Instead of seeing the person objectively, you see them with the eyes of your heart, as you envisioned them to be," said Ami Angelowicz, a therapist during her podcast.
The concept of the three-month rule has seen a lot of growth, while according to Google Trends data, people are showing increased interest in this term, especially in recent months.
Is this rule correct and reliable?
Experts are divided on how useful the three-month rule is. Gabriela Reyes, a couples and family therapist, says she supports the rule. "I've been encouraging my clients to follow something very similar to the 'three month rule' for years," she says. She considers this time span as a suitable "trial period" that gives you the opportunity to find out how much effort a person puts into the relationship to strengthen and move forward. This even in situations of sadness, stress, anger, etc.
Krystal Mazzola Wood is another couples therapist who disagrees with this rule, even seeing it as simply redundant. There are cases where someone can hide their behavior or true identity for a period of "much longer" than three months. What comes to mind is an abusive narcissist who is a bombarder of feelings. He/she may still seem "perfect" three months later, when in fact they are just using manipulative tactics to hide their most damaging behavior.
The best time to talk "what are we" depends on individual circumstances and won't always happen right around three months.
So, experts are still divided on the matter, whether or not three months is enough to get to know the man with whom you have started a new romance!
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Source: Well + Good
