Sometimes you meet someone and you have no idea that your world will change radically. This happened to me when I met him, a single father, 29 years old. He was everything I wanted and more: intelligent, cute and very passionate. But all these qualities that made him perfect came with a child.
He and his ex-girlfriend had become parents a few months before I met him. At first this was not a problem for me because I always loved children, but when you get involved in a relationship, things are not the same. Although I grew up with divorced parents myself, I had no idea how complicated and stressful it was to raise a child and maintain a relationship at the same time.
My link didn't work and now I'm alone, but what I wish I knew before this story is this:
1. Jealousy should be put aside: When dating a single dad, you have to remember that his ex will always be there for you. In a child's life, both parents are needed and that is understandable. His ex-girlfriend was always around us. They fought about the doctor's appointment, about the next vacation, and that was something I had to get used to. One way or another, she would always be there.
2. You have to learn that you are not the priority! All parents put their children first. It was difficult for me at first to accept that the attention would not all be focused on me. He wasn't there when I needed something or when I needed support. He should have been with his son and I understand!
3. The child is another world! Before I met you, I had so much faith in my ability to raise a child. I quickly learned that I actually knew nothing. Every day lived with the little one challenged me and I learned something new. There are some things about parenting that no one can learn until they hold that little creature in their hands.
4. The need for "some alone time" takes on a whole new meaning: After a tiring day at work, all I wanted to do was lie down with him and watch TV. This did not happen often, because one day he was at work, the next day he had to spend time with his son. I had to figure it out again!
5. Even separation is more difficult! When I fell in love with him, I didn't plan to fall in love with him. What I know now is that when you hook up with a single man with kids, they are two people who walk hand in hand. I spent a lot of time with him and I have the best memories with his son.
In the end, you remember that he is not your son, no matter how much you love him or how much you miss him. The truth is that when you break up with his/her parent, you will also break up with him/her. And yes, that makes it twice as hard!
-Adapted from Cosmopolitan
