Whether it's a kiss, a one-night stand, or a months-long affair, being cheated on is painful. But that doesn't mean your relationship isn't worth saving. Although family and friends will tell you to give up, the final decision is yours.
"Monogamy is not easy, and for some people it's a little more difficult, but many couples I've had the opportunity to work with have developed a stronger bond after infidelity," couples therapist Irina Firstin tells Cosmopolitan. If you are in a similar situation and looking to rebuild your relationship with your partner, here are 6 behaviors you should avoid.
Don't ignore betrayal
Do not act as if nothing has happened, otherwise you will not be able to discover the problems that lie at the core of your relationship and that have led your partner to cheating. "There are certainly cases where people cheat just for sex, but for the most part, the cheating comes as a partner's attempt to highlight relationship problems," explains Firstein. By trying to understand these issues, the chances of another betrayal happening are slim. Things don't have to go back to the way they were before, work to create a new, strong and fulfilling relationship for both of you.
Don't blame yourself
It is not your fault that your partner did not know how to communicate his needs. You're not responsible, you didn't deserve something like this, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try anymore.
Don't take revenge
It might make you feel good for the moment, but it won't solve anything. All you have to do is work together to get "on the same page" again.
Don't mention treason to win arguments
The fact that he cheated on you does not give you the right to use him as a card to get out of arguments. "Well at least I didn't betray you!" at the end of every sentence, it would solve nothing.
Don't rush the "healing process"
Take all the time you need to digest what happened and let your partner know. You will ask a lot of questions and it is normal, you will hear the same answers several times, but this is all part of the healing process. If your partner gets tired of this situation, then maybe it's time to end it.
Do not shy away from professional help
Many couples turn to therapists after infidelity has occurred, when they could very well have prevented it by seeing a specialist regularly. It can be scary to analyze the relationship in front of your partner, but a therapist can help you find common ground. Don't be afraid to turn to a professional, they've seen and heard everything.
