Based on an article previously published in Anabel , where we asked followers about the sentences that hurt them the most, we have some advice, suggested by psychologist and doctor Stefani Reinold, who shows step by step what to do when faced with harsh and hurtful words, said by a close person:
Stop and identify the sensation
The first step is very important. If someone says something really hurtful to you, identify the feeling. What are you really feeling? Anger, sadness, feeling like you're being unfairly spoken to? Allow yourself to feel your emotions and most importantly, don't suppress them.
Maybe the feelings come from your traumas?
Once you identify the feeling, understand its source. Is it coming as a result of past traumas?
Remind yourself that their words are not always about you
It is very likely that the problem is with the other person. If someone says a hurtful word, either you can't control your anger, or you overreact to an action or behavior of yours. If someone feels irritated, it is not necessarily with you. Take a step back and put yourself in the other person's shoes, to see and understand the situation from another perspective.
It's something you can't control
You cannot control the thoughts and words of others, but you can control your reaction. In many spheres and factors of life, you will realize that many events cannot be controlled, so what you can do is to know yourself and not be influenced by words, no matter how heavy they are.
Speak up and defend yourself
It is important to react, to speak, to answer for yourself, because otherwise, the other person may take it for granted that they have to say those words.
Take courage and respond, defending yourself with arguments, as it is a way of setting boundaries.
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