Parents sometimes, due to fatigue, stress or overload at work, say things to their children that they later regret. A new study found that this phenomenon has a longer-term, even harmful effect on children's mental health.
The study was carried out by Words Matter, a charity dealing with child verbal abuse. The results revealed that two in five children find themselves part of verbal abuse on a regular basis. The abusers are the parents, teachers and caregivers responsible for their welfare.
Words and expressions that destroy children, such as "stupid" and "I'm ashamed of you," had long-term negative effects on children's mental health. The study found that encouraging expressions such as "I'm proud of you" and "I believe in you" have a positive effect on children.
Researchers surveyed over a thousand children aged 11 to 17, asking them if they themselves or someone they knew had been a part of verbal abuse.
The results showed that 41% of children experience verbal abuse from adults who cared for them. 51% of these children heard insults and derogatory language addressed to them every week, while 10% heard it every day. Two-thirds of children said it made them feel sad and low in self-esteem.
"Fatkeqësisht, këto shifra nuk janë befasuese," thotë Ashley Kipness psikologe në New Jersey. “Të gjithë kemi raste kur themi gjëra për të cilat na vjen keq, por kur ato u thuhen fëmijëve, efektet janë më afatgjata”. Fëmijët treguan se gjuha negative i bën ata të ndihen të trishtuar, të dëshpëruar dhe të poshtëruar.
Studiuesit folën gjithashtu edhe me prindërit e këtyre fëmijëve dhe asnjë prej tyre nuk u ndje mirë për faktet e nxjerra nga studimi, madje shumë u ndjenë fajtorë dhe të turpëruar.
Si të ndryshoni sjelljet me fëmijët?
Prindërit mund të ndihen keq dhe të pendohen që kanë abuzuar verbalisht me fëmijët e tyre, por kjo ka efekte të dëmshme. Është e nevojshme që të rriturit të ndërmarrin hapa për të bërë ndryshime në mënyrë si ata kujdesen apo sillen me fëmijët.
"Adults can inadvertently say things to children, not realizing the power of words and the effect they can have," says psychologist Jessica Bondy. "That's why we need to empower and support them."
Being aware of the power of language is a good first step.
Source: Parents
