Yesterday, on Anabel's Instagram account, we asked Albanian girls and women about their experiences with abortion and they told us some of the feelings, stories and reasons why they had made this decision.
Below you will find their confessions:
"3 in total. Two with a partner that I was with because of casual sex, 1 with my husband. No regrets, I made the right choice. I was only a few weeks old in both cases."
"I had an abortion when I was only 16 years old. The partner, as soon as he found out that I was pregnant, disappeared, only to return after 2 years".
"I had an abortion 24 hours after hearing the baby's heartbeat. Something I will never forget for the rest of my life."
"I had 2 abortions. Both right after my two sons were born. I often think about what it would be like if I had them too, but the timing when I got pregnant was not right. No one can and should not judge a woman who has made this painful decision for the creature inside her."
"I had an abortion at the age of 25. Reluctantly, but the lover refused to confess to fatherhood. I was a few weeks old, I did it with pills, then with surgery because I had complications. Very sorry for the action, I remember it and still suffer from it".
"I had 2 abortions. One when I was 18 years old. I had known my partner for 2 months. The second, after 1 year, with the same person. Today I have 2 girls with the same man".
"I had an abortion last year, forced by circumstances. There is not a day that I don't regret and say now I would have her in my arms. The only thing I have as a memory is the time when I saw him for the first and last time."
“Ah, what a topic and right now. I had an abortion in March of this year and now I spend every day thinking about when she would have been born. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world and I felt blessed. I also felt his heart. I will never forgive myself for having an abortion and I always say that I am the mother of an angel".
"All my life I have been against abortion and I never believed that one day life would put me in front of such a choice. Worst decision I've ever had to make. I still curse myself for doing it. I have 2 children and I can't imagine a third pregnancy. It will always remain a wound for me".
"After 1 year of relationship, I realized that I was pregnant. I began to love that being, I didn't tell anyone, but I was enjoying it very much as a phase and I started to dream. I had a spontaneous abortion, without realizing how my ex-partner was very close to me, which I did not expect. I can't wait to become a mother and every time I remember it, I feel bad and it seems to me that it happened because of my fault".
"I had an abortion and I had a good time. I had the support of my partner and we overcame it together. We tried again after a few months and today I have a 4-year-old daughter".
"Spontaneous abortion before one week. I loved it so much actually, I was really upset the first 2-3 days, but surprisingly I got over it and can't wait to try for a baby again."
"I was 21 years old. When I found out I was pregnant, I was dating my husband for about 2 months. I was very scared, I was in my master's degree, without a job, without anything. I am very sorry. Every time I remember it, I cry, even though I am now 29 years old and a girl. The only thing I want is to turn back time."
"He was having a heart attack and it was inevitable. I opened my eyes after the anesthesia, touched my stomach, felt it empty and at that moment my heart broke. 6 years and I still haven't recovered from the trauma".
"I had an abortion at the age of 20. It was the first pregnancy and many dreams were destroyed, as they were twins. I always think how old they would be now...I judged myself a lot, until the moment I gave birth to my twins after 13 years and I realized that God/the universe has forgiven me and so, I forgave myself."
"He was married and I didn't know I was pregnant, since I have my cycle once every 1-2 months. I cried a lot. I aborted her at 2 months and 8 days with medicine."
"I did not have an abortion, but my mother did." I never spoke, but I feel it as my fault. I was 14 years old and I was ashamed that my mom had another child when I was that old. Together with my father, we convinced him. She suffered a lot at that time and I still suffer a lot after 20 years".
“I did 3 in total. I felt bad only at the first one. It scares me sometimes and this scares me, to have a child, because maybe I won't love it properly".
"I had an abortion a few months ago only because the conditions were not such to bring a child to life. At the same time, I suffer, but I also feel relieved. The first moments I thought I would never have children, but the stories I read in Anabel are giving me strength".
"I had an abortion at 7 weeks, I just found out then and I still feel guilty, because I wanted her, but I didn't have the conditions to keep her."
Note: You can read other stories on Anabel's Instastories.
Abortion is a personal decision, which is taken by every girl or woman, based on different conditions, circumstances and wishes. There are a number of feelings that a woman or girl experiences after the decision to have an abortion, ranging from relief, to sadness, anger, shame, guilt, or even depression.
Abortion is often accompanied by post-abortion syndrome (PASS), which consists of a combination of sensations. Many women experience depression, anxiety, anger and the feeling of having abandoned a child and this leaves its mark on the long term.
The symptoms of PASS are similar to those of PTSD and can also manifest as a regret on the date when the abortion was performed or many thoughts related to assumptions about how the baby's life would be. Unfortunately, PASS is a controversial syndrome for many people and is still not fully accepted, making it very difficult to understand.
What are some of the symptoms that indicate you have abortion trauma?
Crying for no reason, especially when seeing or thinking about children
Depression
Feeling of guilt
Inability to forgive yourself
Grief and sadness
Anger and temper tantrums
Emotional numbness
Low libido
Fear of being a mother
Eating problems
Alcohol and drug abuse
Frequent abortion nightmares
Lower
self-esteem Suicidal thoughts
Difficulty in relationships with your partner
Panic and anxiety attacks
Discomfort when you are around pregnant women In some cases, these symptoms do not fade over time, but remain present, so what you should do in such situations is to seek specialized help from professionals. Suggested articles:
