If your child has ever been bullied, you know very well how much it hurts for you as a parent. Harassment at school, in the redeemed game under the palace with other peers, or in a playground, the environments where bullying of children takes place are numerous.
There is no worse feeling for a parent when you see a child's heart broken by a friend in the neighborhood or at school.
Many well-intentioned parents still charge their children by saying: He/she is just jealous! This is one of those expressions that should never be used if your child is being bullied.
Jealousy, say psychologists, is not the reason why children bully their peers.
Here are five reasons why you should tell your children the big lie: He/she is jealous and therefore bullies you:
-When you say that the other person is jealous, you blame the hurt child
When you tell a bullied child that someone treated them unkindly because the other person was jealous, you are telling them in a way that they deserve the malice. Telling children that success is the reason someone else is unkind is a heavy burden on them.
- The expression "He/she is just jealous" removes responsibility from the child who does the damage
Ne të gjithë bëhemi xhelozë në një moment të jetës...Unë, ti, fëmija yt, mësuesit, drejtori, kolegët, etj. Ne e dimë se xhelozia nuk është arsye për të qenë mizor. Kjo nuk do të thotë se ngacmuesi është një fëmijë i keq dhe me vetëdije zgjedh të shkaktojë dëm. Ata janë fëmijë, shpesh nuk mendojnë gjatë apo bëhen të pasjellshëm. Është detyra jonë si prindër, të bëjmë të qartë se të qenit i pasjellshëm është një zgjedhje, ashtu siç është edhe mirësia.
-Xhelozia e mëson fëmijën të trajtojë ndjenjat në mënyrë të pahijshme
Kur u themi fëmijëve se ngacmimi ndodh sepse dikush është xheloz/e, ne dërgojmë një mesazh delikat se mënyra e natyrshme për të trajtuar xhelozinë është të jesh i pasjellshëm.
-Lidhja e admirimit me mizorinë e çon fëmijën drejt një marrëdhënieje jo të shëndetshme
When we normalize an unhealthy relationship dynamic, we risk children becoming accustomed to such behaviors in the future. There is an upside to telling children that someone is mean because they are jealous: we are, in essence, explaining how bad things follow success or even admiration.
-"He/she is just jealous" feeds an unhealthy part of the ego
The child's bully can also be jealous. But in reality, maybe your child is not such an angel. Is it true that other children envy your child? This is not a fair way of perceiving to instill in the child because you inadvertently develop a sick rather than a healthy ego.
