Having a narcissistic parent is really a big challenge for children. Previously, we showed you how to identify a narcissistic mother , while today, we are also talking about a narcissistic father.
First, we must tell you that common traits of a narcissistic father include a large ego, the need to always be right, even if it distorts reality, and constant control over the children's behavior, decisions, and lives.
What are the characteristics of a narcissistic father?
Seeks Compliments and Attention
A narcissistic father is constantly concerned about himself and how others see him. It requires constant compliments and attention from everyone.
Obsessed with success
The narcissistic father will see himself as the most successful and accomplished person, especially in the group of people who are most present in his life.
Not emotionally supportive
Simply put, narcissists don't understand when their children need their emotional support. Even if they understand, they still don't give it.
Bullies the children
The lack of "empathy" and the desire to always be the first, pushes the narcissistic father to mock/bully the child, to make him feel more inferior.
Compliments you only in public
As we said above, a narcissistic father is obsessed with the image, so to look like a "perfect father", he compliments you in public.
He humiliates you in front of family members
A narcissistic father tries to damage the child's ego and damage his own, so he tries to create another image for other family members.
Makes rude comments about your appearance
By discussing your weight, height, or various features of your appearance, the narcissistic father tries to lower your self-esteem.
Not Rejoicing in Others' Successes
A narcissistic father always finds a way to avoid celebrating or congratulating someone else's success because suddenly, the focus is not on him.
He manipulates you into doing what he wants
The narcissistic father uses guilt or various emotional blackmail to force you to do what he wants.
Ignores the boundaries you set
Even if you set boundaries, the narcissistic father still doesn't respect them, always aiming to interfere in your life.
You don't feel like he loves you unconditionally
Growing up, you realize that maybe your father didn't love you unconditionally, but he always tried to mold you according to his idea.
How to deal with the impact and trauma of a narcissistic father?
When you grow up, you realize that maybe some things were not as you imagined. You create distance from different family situations and understand that the father was not perfect, but he had narcissistic behavior on purpose/unintentionally. Of course, the impact is present, so we're showing you some ways to deal with trauma:
Consulting a therapist
Don't pretend you haven't been hurt by neglect, rejection, abandonment, or distortion of reality. If you find that traumas and negative thoughts come back again and again, consult a therapist.
Practice Self-Care
Being raised by a narcissistic father often brings some challenges with your self-confidence and self-image. Work with your dark side, the thoughts that make you sad, and figure out what's wrong so you can fix it.
Insist on the boundaries you have set
Whenever the narcissistic father tries to violate or disrespect your boundaries, insist and remind them, either quietly or passive-aggressively.
Take responsibility for your life and choices
Remember that life is yours, and so are your choices. It doesn't matter what manipulation technique your father uses, you follow and remember that once he interferes in your life as an adult, he won't stop.
Create healthy relationships with other family members
A narcissistic father can also influence other family members on their opinion of you, but again, you can build healthy relationships based on love and respect with other family members.
Mos krijo shpresa të rreme
Shërimi i traumave të tua nuk varet nga babai, por nga ti. Sjelljet narciste janë të rrënjosura dhe ndoshta babai mund të mos i pranojë dhe as ndryshojë kurrë ato.
Mos merr përsipër përgjegjësi që s’të takojnë
Ti nuk je përgjegjës për sasinë e dashurisë, apo të suksesit që yt atë ka dashur në jetë!
Nëse lind nevoja, mos mbaj kontakte me të
Nëse babai thjesht s’e kupton që ke jetën tënde dhe vendimet e tua, apo sjellja e tij është e padurueshme dhe të sjell shumë dëme dhe ndjesi negative, ndoshta është më mirë të mos mbash kontakte me të.
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