The expression "I'm sorry" has weight and some say it rarely, some say it appropriately and some others, more often than necessary. This article is dedicated to people who belong to the last category, and you may be surprised to find out that when you are saying "sorry" more often than necessary, you are damaging your relationship.
First, what exactly does it mean to apologize too much?
In theory, you can apologize for things you do that might be wrong with your partner. That's okay. While the exaggeration of the expression "I'm sorry" comes when you apologize for things that are not so serious and that do not necessarily need an "I'm sorry". For example: "I apologize that lunch is not ready yet"; "I'm sorry I didn't add sugar to my coffee"; "I'm sorry I didn't iron the clothes." Do you know how that sounds?!
Why don't you do it anymore?
Usually, this is interpreted as a sign of low self-confidence, or a lack of strength, but also as a passive-aggressive behavior. When you repeat the phrase "sorry" over and over again, you make the other person think that they are aggressive, impatient and controlling. This forces the partner to take a more superior position, as he gets used to a certain rhythm of saying "I'm sorry". Thus, such a relationship is created: You - the person who suffers from each action and the partner - the aggressive person, who does actions, which cause your suffering.
When does exaggeration with the expression "I'm sorry" become a passive-aggressive behavior?
Over time, repeating the expression "I'm sorry" even when nothing has happened, becomes excessive and annoying, which can most likely lead to impatience on the part of the partner.
It seems like even the smallest things require importance and somehow you blame your partner for not noticing them. Not everything hurts you and not everything deserves attention!
It directs the partner's attention at all times to your relationship and the mission to encourage you and confirm that you have done nothing wrong.
Your partner won't apologize for the mistakes they make because someone else is doing it for both of them (yes, we have it with you).
Why does this behavior hurt you and the other person?
Both partners suffer from the constant repetition of the phrase "I'm sorry". He who practices it often, because he looks like a helpless, timid person and at one point, becomes annoying. This action requires a lot of energy and a detailed look even at things that don't need so much attention and of course, it also dilutes the value of the expression "I'm sorry", making it very little important for the relationship created.
On the other hand, the person who welcomes the expression is also irritated by the situation, as well as feels guilty because it makes the partner feel bad.
These effects can be reduced if both partners become more aware and give due importance to this expression. Don't get us wrong, we're not telling you to never apologize, but in situations where it's necessary!
In short, understand that asking for forgiveness is like salt! The right measure gives flavor to your relationship and if you throw in too much you make it bitter. When you say "sorry" with the right measure, respect yourself and your partner at the same time.
