You may have already heard that narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But what are the chances that exactly one (or both) of your parents have this problem?!
Check out these 5 behaviors on your own:
#1 - You only want to please others and often find yourself in a "caring" role
Because of their familiarity with trying to please a difficult parent, a child of a narcissist may later choose to date another narcissist, or even marry a narcissist, because the role of caring for a person's needs other is known to them.
The relationship that first defined love for this person was transactional - they could earn their parents' love by doing certain things for them or achieving certain successes - so they have already internalized love as conditional.
#2 - Doubt yourself and your reality regularly
In failing to trust their child's emotions, a narcissistic parent often dismisses the child's own understanding of reality. Your parents may have told you that some things that happened didn't really happen. For example, let's say you're upset because your sibling knocked down the castle you just built. A narcissistic parent might say, 'Your brother would never do that. You must have knocked it down yourself."
Over time, these types of experiences can reduce your 'sense of self', making you doubt yourself and the reality around you.
#3 - You are often looking for external approval, the approval of others
The child of a narcissist learns at a young age that his worth is fundamentally tied to how much he can please others. So, later in life, they may find themselves stuck in receiving validation from others than themselves.
Children of narcissists can often 'hear' the parent's overly critical voice in their head, like a nagging voice that won't turn off. And one way to turn down the volume of that voice is to seek the constant approval of others.
#4 - You constantly ignore or hide your feelings and emotions
Perhaps one of the most common signs that you grew up with a narcissistic parent is a tendency to put your own feelings and emotions on the back burner.
In some cases, you may simply feel as if other people's needs and happiness will always be fundamentally more important than your own (and, thus, you ignore them).
In other cases, you may struggle to put your feelings into words or even know how you feel, given that you were rarely allowed the space to articulate your feelings during childhood.
5. You have difficulty trusting others
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, you grow up with a parent who not only doesn't see or validate your feelings, but may also actively mock or even deny them. As a result, it's no wonder that you may later put up a wall and have difficulty approaching or trusting others - mostly as a self-defense mechanism.
How to recover from the experience of being raised by a narcissistic parent
You should be aware of the importance of educating yourself on parental narcissism. Only through understanding the patterns of narcissism and its impact can you stop blaming yourself for not meeting the impossible needs of a narcissistic parent.
Of course, one of the best choices is therapy with a mental health professional.
Burimi: Well & Good
