Do women have a harder time than men when it comes to staying faithful in relationships?
The view that it is mainly men who cheat because their partners lose interest in sex is probably wrong. Science says it's actually women who get bored of monogamy because they don't feel fulfilled in the bedroom. Women want sexual variety.
Wednesday Martin, an anthropologist and author of " Untrue ," refers to this new research as "the great correction." Martin interviewed dozens of sociologists, sex researchers and anthropologists for her book on female infidelity and says the idea that women's libidos are low is wrong. She is alive and eager to please, she says.
"New research is correcting the false ideas that women have less libido, that women are naturally more monogamous, and that it's easier for women to be single," she explains. "Women don't like sex less. [than men] – but they get bored of the same thing.”
Men may have higher levels of spontaneous desire, while women have responsive or induced desire. What does this mean?
"Spontaneous desire is when you suddenly think, 'It would be nice to have sex.'" It's like hunger or thirst, says Martin. “Responsive or triggered desire happens when something suggests the idea of ??sex to you – you're watching or reading something, or you meet someone – and you feel aroused. For that kind of desire, women's libido is just as strong as men's.
Reasons why women cheat
Martin says the myth that women cheat for emotional reasons while men cheat for sexual reasons is also being overturned. She cites a study from Missouri State University on a group of women who used the Ashley Madison website specifically to cheat.
“[This research] corrects some of our most widespread notions about female infidelity: that women only cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages; that unlike men, they seek emotional connection, not sexual satisfaction." - adds Wednesday.
"The women studied went to the site, created a profile, verified the candidates, met them in person and analyzed them thoroughly. This was a very deliberate process. They wanted to find partners for sex. They said they were in sexless or orgasmless marriages and just wanted what they couldn't have at home."
Një hulumtim nga Dr. Marta Meana në Universitetin e Nevada-s zbuloi se "institucionalizimi" në një partneritet afatgjatë zbeh dëshirën seksuale të grave më shumë sesa të burrave. Burrat që bëjnë seks të rregullt me ??partneret janë më të kënaqur seksualisht dhe me marrëdhënien e tyre, por nuk është e njëjta gjë për gratë, thotë ajo.
"Tani, hulumtuesit e seksit janë duke theksuar mundësinë që gratë thjesht kanë nevojë për shumëllojshmëri dhe risi të përvojës seksuale më shumë se burrat," thotë Martin.
Gratë përshtaten më natyrshëm në lidhjet monogame? Ndoshta jo. Biopsikologia Meredith Chivers në Universitetin Queen's, Kanada dhe ekipi i saj ftuan burra dhe gra të shikonin porno teksa kishin monitorë në trup për të matur reagimin e tyre fizik dhe rrjedhjen e gjakut, gjë që tregonte eksitimin seksual. Burrat heteroseksualë ishin kryesisht të eksituar nga fotot e seksit heteroseksual dhe gratë që kryenin marrëdhënie seksuale me gra, por gratë heteroseksuale kishin një "menu eksitimi" më të larmishme.
“Trupi i grave iu përgjigj burrave që bënin seks me burra, grave që bënin seks me gra, burrave dhe grave që bënin seks dhe imazheve të një ereksioni. Tradicionalisht mendojmë se burat ndihen të eksituar nga çdo gjë dhe e vërteta është se trupi i një guaje i përgjigjet më shumë stimujve seksualë,” thotë Martin.
So does female libido always lead to infidelity? There is no reason, says anthropology. Not if women can talk honestly with their partner about wanting sexual variety and adventure. She says this can avoid the inevitable boredom that plagues many long-term relationships.
"Imagine how much better relationships would be if couples understood that when a woman starts to feel sexually bored, it doesn't have to mean the end. Think of the marriages and relationships that could be improved if women could discuss their desire for sexual adventure and work with their partner to find solutions that bring them closer together."
