Decisions are part of life. You may need to choose the best vacation spot, job candidate, nanny or a place to live. However, the most important decision may be identifying the best partner for you. Relationships matter - a lot. They have consequences for your health, your reactions to stress and even the way you see the world. How can you determine if your current partner is the best of the best or at least, the best for you, especially when you probably have your doubts about it?
Inspired by Lisa Keltner, psychologist, below is a list of 15 questions to highlight what matters most. Note that this list isn't about the next Tinder date or a short-term "summer fling." The questions focus on what is important for serious, long-term and lasting love. To benefit from this "exercise", you must be honest and above all, do not lie to yourself.
First, consider each question and answer with a simple "yes" or "no":
1. Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
2. Do you both feel comfortable with each other when it comes to showing how you feel or leaning on each other, without fear or worry that your partner will leave?
3. Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
4. When disagreements arise, do you communicate respectfully and without condescension or negativity?
5. Do you share decision-making, power, and influence in the relationship equally or satisfactorily?
6. Is your partner your best friend, and vice versa?
7. Do you and your partner think more in terms of "we" than "me"?
8. Would you trust each other with passwords on social networks and bank accounts?
9. Do you and your partner have good opinions about each other - without being overly positive, but realistic?
10. Do your close friends, as well as your partner's friends, think you have a relationship that will stand the test of time?
11. Is your relationship free of "red flags" such as cheating, jealousy, and controlling behavior?
12. Do you and your partner have the same values ??when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have children (or not) and how to parent?
13. Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your personal needs, desires, and goals for each other (without always being the one to sacrifice or give everything)?
14. Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
15. Are you sexually compatible?
Interpretation of answers
The best answer to any question is a quick "yes." In any question that makes you think, gives you pause or is a definite "no" - this is an area that requires attention and improvement.
On the other hand, some questions probably don't matter as much to you and your relationship. Therefore, there are 15 more questions and no less. Are there any other questions besides these? Sure, but overall what you read sums up important aspects of your relationship.
In relationships, there are few guarantees of what the future holds. Consider the responses, feelings, and gather as much data as you can about your relationship. If you can, consult with experts and remember to make the best decision, using both your heart and your head.
Burimi: Psychology Today
