Have you ever found yourself complaining all the time? Or to have someone around who does nothing but complain about anything, even though it may be the best moment of his / her life. In fact, complaining is an integral part of most people's daily lives, but why is it so important to some?
There are two basic categories of complaints: instrumental and expressive. Instrumental complaints are goal-oriented, which means that we express the problem verbally in the hope that it will bring about change. You complain to your partner about how much mess he has left in the bedroom because he hopes he will offer his help to fix it. Tell the hotel manager that the garbage truck woke you up at 5:00 in the morning because you would like a better room.
Expressive complaints have a different mission: They enable the speaker to bring out what is inside. When you call a friend to complain that all three children have the flu at the same time, she is not seeking medical advice. You just want a good word to calm you down psychologically. Even when you complain about the driver cutting you off the road can be healthy, it makes you feel better the moment you say it, but here is the difference! Some people abuse expressive complaints, constantly complaining without real interest in conversation, problem solving, or human relationships.
But why do we complain so much?
People's complaints come as a result of evolution from our ancestors who cried when they wanted to warn of a threat to their tribe. Experts say we mammals are weeping creatures. We talk about things that bother us as a way to seek help or seeking support for a counterattack.
Source: Psychology Today
