Have you ever caught yourself thinking about a relationship that has ended and repeating to yourself, "What was I thinking when I was staying with that man?" It seems like you can not give an answer and you feel liberated now that things are over, but how did you endure so long during such a toxic and unhealthy relationship?
For many reasons people stay in toxic relationships and in most cases are unaware they are doing it.
1.
You are afraid of loneliness and think that being with someone is many times better than being alone. For many people fear of loneliness and low self-esteem are the main motives that make them stay in toxic relationships, despite the fact that the relationship has ended.
2.
To break away from that relationship seems impossible and as a threat to the future. This usually happens to those people who have grown up with family trauma and have many unmet emotional needs. This makes them cling to a partner and stay with him alone because he has become "family" and do not think there can be anything beyond him.
3.
You have invested a lot of time and energy in this relationship and you are afraid to start over. It makes you hesitate and you choose not to separate despite the fact that the relationship has obviously ended.
4.
You still have hope that your partner can change. This will not only increase the doses of frustration, but will make you waste twice as much time choosing not to see the harmful signals you receive every day from his behavior. The hope is that he will change simply as things get worse over time.
5.
You think you deserve that relationship and you relate your values ??to your personal status. Maybe from the messages he receives from family and people around him, or just the mentality to create some kind of pressure to stay in that relationship even unintentionally.
6.
You do not know yourself who you are outside of that relationship. If you realize that you have lost your identity during this relationship you will find it difficult to break up because you no longer know how to function without it.
7.
Partneri yt është abuziv emocionalisht. Të bën të dyshosh tek vetja dhe instiktet e tua. Të manipulon rregullisht duke të të bërë të ndihesh fajtore në çdo situatë. Si pasojë ti fajson veten sa herë që gjërat shkojnë keq në një lidhje, pasi je e bindur që problemi je ti, jo ai.
8.
Ti je shumë e dhënë pas atij raporti dhe do të bëje gjithçka për të shpëtuar. Kjo ndodh përgjithësisht tek njerëzit të cilët janë rritur në një mjedis me konflikte dhe kanë qenë ata paqebërësit e familjes që vetëmohoheshin për të mirën e përbashkët. Pra filozofia e tyre në lidhje me dashurinë është: "duhet të luftosh dhe ta fitosh që ajo të jetë e vërtetë".
9.
You are confusing chemistry with compatibility. When at the beginning of the relationship the chemistry is great you may be confused and think that you fit best in other things as well. This idea can keep you connected for so long, to the point that you refuse to admit that you are not for each other.
10.
You are given to a ups and downs relationship. You enjoy the tensions about his emotional relapses make you feel good, despite suffering the day before.
11.
You believe that relationships are difficult. This is true and requires a lot of work and compromise, but when the core of the relationship is healthy. You do not have to sacrifice values ??and yourself to save someone who will not be saved nor work for your love.
Source: Psychology Today
