You and your partner may not have any problems with your sex life, but that does not mean you are not curious to discover, experiment and experience more. There is a problem: How to tell him / her without damaging the connection and without making it seem like something is missing or not going?
First, it is important to remember that while communication is very, very important for good sex, there is a limit to how much you can change someone's sexual appetites or preferences.
Do you need to talk to your partner? Yes of course. But you must also, first, be clear with yourself about what you want and intend to communicate.
You should avoid phrases like: "Too bad you do not like strange things in bed and it is hurting our sex life."
In terms of boredom or feeling like things have fallen apart, many therapists think it is entirely right to feel that way after a while with your partner. This is not a sign that the relationship is broken or that you will no longer have a good sex life.
Of course, there are many ways to enjoy things; There are various power dynamics, sexual acts, twists and scenarios that can make sex feel fresh. But after all, if you are not making an effort to make something like this happen, sex can seem repetitive.
Instead of innovating, perhaps focus on the desire. How can you make each other feel more open and wanted? How can you add surprise or mystery to your sex life? Is there a new place you two can have sex? Is there a new time of day? Can you masturbate together? Can you kiss without having sex? You can create new experiences within the boundaries of the sex you are already having.
You can open this topic with something like:
"Honey, I'm terribly mad at you and sex with you is fantastic, but it seems to me like we're constantly doing the same things and I'm very happy to try to know I'm new to you. I want to know what you will try or what you are open to. It does not have to be madness, and if we try it and it turns out that it is not for us, there is no problem. "
Also, let your partner know that he or she does not need to respond at the moment. This is the opening of a conversation, which will last all the time you are together.
The idea is that if this is the only person you will have a sex life with in the future, that sex life should be good and work for both of you!
Sex is a very busy topic that comes with a lot of baggage for all of us, and it may take a little patience to get out of the comfort zone for both of you, but you can work to get to a point where you can talk without problem.
Source: Bustle
