It is not easy to find the right words when your friend tells you that she has had an abortion or intends to have an abortion. If you find yourself confused and speechless, you are right, and if you do not know what to say, you better keep quiet.
It's certainly not your intention to hurt or say something out of place, but such delicate topics require special care. What should you not say in such cases?
1. "How does your partner feel about this?"
Maybe your question is naive, but it can make them feel that this decision is not in their hands, or as if they are not credible enough to make the right decision for themselves. Every pregnant woman should have the full right to control her situation, regardless of what her partner thinks.
What can you say to her: "Have you got the support you need? What can I do for you?"
2. "Why? Have you considered all the possibilities well?"
No one needs to have almost an excuse for the decision made. Be supportive and empathetic, trying not to make them feel pressured for what they have done. When you ask them about "other options" you make them think that they have not done the right thing or that they are not able to decide what is best for them.
What you can say to her: "Tell me what you want. I just want you to know that I will support you in whatever decision you make."
3. "I for one would never have an abortion."
These are very delicate issues and such opinions should never be given out loud. We are all different and one situation is not like the other. This is not the time to tell him what you would have done or not done. You will simply make him feel guilty, without being necessary.
What you can say to her: "If you need help with something during or after an abortion, tell me."
4. "It must be very difficult" or "It's not a big deal. I know a lot of people who have done it and are fine."
It is never good to make assumptions about someone else's experience. Instead, give your girlfriend the opportunity to express what they really feel.
What can you say to him, "How are you feeling now?"
5. "Were you using emergency pills?"
No one gets pregnant she is going to have an abortion. None of us know where life can lead and why at some point you may have to make a decision like this.
What can you say to her: "I'm very happy that you made a decision that makes you feel good and also thank you for sharing it with me."
Source: Huffington Post
