Will Smith's relationship with his parents has been a complex one, about which the actor has confessed in a memoir.
People has provided an excerpt from the book "Will", which will be released on November 9. In it, Will recounts painful family experiences, including a traumatic childhood incident. In the book, Smith recounts the complicated relationship he had with his father, Will iam Carroll Smith Sr.
"My father was violent, but he was also in every game, role and recital. He was an alcoholic, but he was sober in every premiere of every movie of mine," he writes. "He listened to every album. He visited every studio. "The same person who terrorized his family put food on the table every night of my life."
Smith writes that a horrific act of violence by the father against the actor's mother, Caroline Bright, changed his life forever.
"When I was nine years old, I saw my father hitting my mom on the side of the head so hard that she fell. I saw her spitting blood. That moment in that bedroom, perhaps more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am. "
For the actor, the trauma of that moment would affect his entire life and career. He explains: "For everything I have done since then - awards and ratings, the spotlight, the characters and the laughter - there have been long moments where I apologized to my mother for my inaction that day. For the fact that I failed to "Father. For the fact that I was a coward."
Smith's parents separated when he was a teenager and divorced in 2000. Despite maintaining a close relationship with his father, the actor writes that the anger stemming from that childhood incident resurfaced decades later as he cared for Will. Sr., who had cancer.
"Një natë, teksa e lëvizja në karrige me rrota nga dhoma e tij e gjumit drejt banjës, brenda meje buroi diçka e errët. Korridori midis dy dhomave kalon në majë të shkallëve. Kur isha fëmijë, gjithmonë i thoja vetes se një ditë do të hakmerresha për nënën time. Kur të isha i rritur, kur të isha mjaftueshëm i fortë, kur të mos isha më frikacak.”
Në atë moment, Smith kujton se kishte menduar të vriste të atin. "Unë ndalova në majë të shkallëve. Mund ta shtyja poshtë dhe t’ia hidhja paq shkruan ai. "Teksa dekadat e dhimbjes, zemërimit dhe pakënaqësisë u tërhoqën pas, unë tunda kokën dhe e drejtova karrigen me rrota për drejt banjës.”
Pasi Will Sr. ndërroi jetë në vitin 2016, Smith reflektoi mbi marrëdhënien e tyre të turbullt.
"There is nothing you can take from the material world that will create peace or inner fulfillment," he writes. "In the end, it will not matter how well [people] loved you - you will only earn a 'smile' based on how well you loved them."
