The experience with breast cancer varies from individual to individual. Likewise, the type of support they want or need may change.
Some people may feel energetic from hopeful messages, while for others, messages like "you will succeed" may make them feel discouraged or upset.
Some women told Healthline about their experience with breast cancer and what sentences they would like not to hear.
"You can fight it"
"Does anyone else get frustrated when people say 'you can fight' or 'you will' '? I do not know exactly why, but it makes me angry. It makes me think that if I do not survive, it means I did not fight hard enough. Fighting means choice. "I do not think I have any control or choice." - Anonymous
"You are strong"
"I have had people tell me how strong I am. I think, 'No I am not, sometimes I am a tearful baby.' I think sometimes being strong is not a choice. I breathe, I lie in bed, I take the treatments and I pray that tomorrow it gets better. ” - Lrvmcvelv64
"Cancer is a battle"
"I do not like the comparison with the fight or battle for health issues, especially for cancer, and especially now that I have had it myself. The comparison assumes that you can win or lose and that there are winners and losers. None of them are correct or "I also do not like the terms because it looks like I'm fighting with my body. My body is not an enemy to fight." - Louise E.
"You are an inspiration"
"No I'm not. I'm just listening to the doctors and doing what they tell me I should do if I want to live. "Toxic positivity is difficult to manage, especially since it is not done with malice." - Lizzie
"You have it under control"
"I made sure no one told me about my cancer. I send messages to some people who are responsible for transmitting information to those who I think should know something. I can not stand when they tell me 'you have it under control'. What do I have? When they tell me so, I do not know what to say. Now I think before I talk to others. "Sometimes just 'I'm thinking about you' is enough." - Jules10
